Stephen Colbert said on Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report” that he’s still reeling from President Barack Obama’s revelation on Wednesday that he is gay. Which is what you have to assume, he said, because why else would the president support same sex marriage?
Cobert declared that he is “an originalist” in that be believes that marriage “is between one man and that man’s rib.” Flashing a photo of leaf-bedecked Adam and Eve figures, Colbert said, “It’s the same reason it’s why it’s okay to have sex with barbecue. But try explaining that to the close-minded wait staff at Chili’s.”
Same sex marriage, said Colbert, is a blasphemy. He pulled out a Bible and announced that he’d like to read everything from it that Jesus ever said about homosexuality.
“I’d like to, except he never said anything about it. Evidently, Jesus was so filled with rage that he was speechless,” he said.
But the host said he was confident that Christ condemned homosexuality all the time in private, when he was “hanging out with those twelve other dudes at their elaborate dinner parties,” “living the bachelor life, drinking wine and working on their washboard abs.”
Which is what all straight saviors do, right? Nothing wrong with that.
Watch the clip, embedded via Comedy Central, below: