Hip-hop DJ Jay Smooth thinks he finally understands what makes Mitt Romney tick.
“Diplomacy usually requires having conversations with human beings, which is not Mitt Romney’s strong suit,” Smooth explains. “Up until now, the campaign has been trying to help Romney avoid human contact … but since human interaction is pretty much unavoidable on a goodwill tour, the Romney campaign has tried to cushion the blow by starting him off in the easiest place possible, sending him to England, our good buddies in England. What could possibly go wrong in England?”
Of course, a lot has gone wrong for Romney in England, but Smooth has figured out why. “I feel like I’ve been underestimating Mitt Romney,” he says, “’cause up until now, I thought Romney wasn’t capable of having any real opinions or ever talking frankly about what he really believes. But I’m realizing now that Mitt Romney is capable of speaking frankly about what he believes — but he can only do it when it’s the worst possible time.”
“Whenever he’s in a social situation when you’re supposed to keep your opinions to yourself, that is the one moment when Mitt Romney always has to share what’s in his heart. When he goes to meet local citizens and they give him a nice plate of cookies, that is the time he just can’t resist telling them that those cookies don’t look home-made and he thinks they came from 7-11. And when Brian Williams asks him a softball question about the London Olympics that’s supposed to be an easy setup for a compliment, that’s when Mitt Romney can’t resist showing off that he’s Mr. Olympics and being all critical and using words like ‘disconcerting.’”
“If you’re looking for someone who can go out on that world stage and just be awkward as hell,” concludes Smooth, “I think we have learned this week that Mitt Romney is your man. If you are an American who wants to restore our rightful place as laughingstock of the world, now is the time to get behind Mitt Romney.”
This video is from Jay Smooth at Ill Doctrine, July 27, 2012