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Colbert: It’s ‘whore o’clock’ in America thanks to Obamacare

By David Ferguson
Thursday, August 2, 2012 8:41 EDT
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Colbert on whore o'clock
 
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Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert reminded viewers that Wednesday marked the beginning of a key provision in President Barack Obama’s health care reform plan, the Affordable Care Act. As of August 1, 2012, women’s birth control is covered under employee health insurance policies, regardless of the ideological affiliation of that employer.

This will kick off a wave of libertinism the likes of which the world has never seen, said Colbert. “That’s right,” he said, “Free birth control for all the ladies. Don’t forget to reset your watches and check your calendars, because it is now whore o’clock on the first day of Skanks-uary.”

Women all over America, he said, will be flocking to their local Planned Parenthood to be hooked up to a Yaz force-feeding tube “like a sex-crazed foie gras goose.”

“Gangs of hot-blooded sluts” will be marauding in the streets, Colbert predicted. And because American women will be so busy having all that consequence-free sex, there will be no more American children.

But because he was named one of Maxim’s 100 Hottest Women of 2012 (and it is free, after all), the host had no choice, really, but to start taking birth control pills. Right away, on the air, he started taking them. A whole handful of them, which he then washed down with what appeared to be a Corona Lite.

Then he said he was feeling sad and retaining water, adding, “I feel like a cow.”

Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below:

David Ferguson
David Ferguson
David Ferguson is an editor at Raw Story. He was previously writer and radio producer in Athens, Georgia, hosting two shows for Georgia Public Broadcasting and blogging at Firedoglake.com and elsewhere. He is currently working on a book.
 
 
 
 
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