‘Big Rich Texas’: How to turn sacred baptisms into lavish overindulgence

By David Edwards
Wednesday, November 14, 2012 14:05 EDT
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"Big Rich Texas" reality star Leslie Birkland
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The Style Network’s Big Rich Texas reality show is offering tips on how to transform nearly any sacred religious ritual into a flashy and pretentious social event.

In a recently posted web video, Big Rich Texas reality star Leslie Birkland explains how to “make an adult baptism stylish.”

A baptism is a Christian sacrament where the candidate is immersed in or sprinkled with water as a symbol of purification. The Gospel According to Matthew says that after Christ rose from the dead, he told his followers: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.”

In the Big Rich Texas video, Leslie recommends a swimming pool at an oversized neoeclectic-style McMansion instead of a church or a lake because “it is a little bit cleaner.”

“I prefer to wear your dress for the baptism because I think it’s very beautiful and then afterwards, you just need an after outfit because you don’t want to walk around at the party soaking wet,” she explains. “As the godmother, I can wear something very classic as long as it’s classy and tasteful. This is not the time to be boob-alicious, not at a baptism.”

There should also be a “simple and tasteful and elegant cake” as a centerpiece. And the event should conclude with releasing doves because “it’s just the perfect way to end a baptism.”

“And that’s all you need to know to make your baptism a little more stylish,” Leslie declares.

The Huffington Post noted that “those of you who don’t have access to a beautiful pool and whom Jesus called blessed — the poor, the weak, the meek — you can do your unstylish, dirty baptism anywhere you want.”

“Big Rich Texan Leslie seems to indicate in the video that she is the Godmother of the subject of this particular baptism. When thinking of the spiritual well being of the new Christian one can only quote Scripture: Jesus wept.”

Watch this video from Style Network’s Big Rich Texas, broadcast Nov. 11, 2012.

(h/t: Stuff Christian Culture Likes)

David Edwards
David Edwards
David Edwards has served as an editor at Raw Story since 2006. His work can also be found at Crooks & Liars, and he's also been published at The BRAD BLOG. He came to Raw Story after working as a network manager for the state of North Carolina and as as engineer developing enterprise resource planning software. Follow him on Twitter at @DavidEdwards.
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