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Satire: Montreal bylaw requires dogs to be bilingual

By David Edwards
Thursday, December 13, 2012 13:29 EDT
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Confused dog (Shutterstock.com)
 
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Correction: This interview and proposed bilingual dog bylaw was from a CBC satire radio show and is fictional.

“If the story seemed unbelievable, the fact that the original interview on the topic linked back to a CBC Radio Web page – and sounded very much like a CBC Radio interview – seemed to lend it some credibility,” The Globe and Mail noted.

Original report continues below…

Montreal city councilor Benoit LaDouce is proposing a bylaw that requires all dogs in public parks to understand both French and English.

“The current situation in Montreal dog parks in untenable chaos,” LaDouce told CBC’s Pat Kelly on Wednesday. “Half the dogs are getting their commands in French, the others are getting their commands in English. And the various dog commands are incomprehensible to each other.”

The city councilor recalled that he had recently been in a park when “a large Anglo dog, he leaped up onto my shoulder and began to lick and kiss.”

At that point, LaDouce issued the dog a command in French, which he roughly translated as “Hey, go out of this place, fun guy, go.”

“And the dog looked back at me in total incomprehension,” he explained. “Our alienation from each other was absolute.”

“We’re not saying you’re going to turn your dog into a super dog to go on the David Letterman and do this stupid trick program,” LaDouce insisted. “We’re saying basic stuff: 80 or 90 commands that they would speak in both French and in English. Sit, lay down, roll over, do you want to go for a walk?”

If the bylaw passes, city employees would be responsible for testing each dog’s language skills.

“This is a priority for us,” LaDouce said. “I’m working on it day and night and we’re hoping to get it wrapped up by the time we get to tennis ball season in the Summer.”

Listen to this audio from CBC, broadcast Dec. 12, 2012.

 

[Photo: Shutterstock.com]

David Edwards
David Edwards
David Edwards has served as an editor at Raw Story since 2006. His work can also be found at Crooks & Liars, and he's also been published at The BRAD BLOG. He came to Raw Story after working as a network manager for the state of North Carolina and as as engineer developing enterprise resource planning software. Follow him on Twitter at @DavidEdwards.
 
 
 
 
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