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Colbert: ‘If you just spend enough money, death will be pleasant’

By Arturo Garcia
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:41 EDT
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Stephen Colbert addressed a grave matter on Tuesday, turning his attention to a new coffin on the market that lets audiophiles take their favorite tunes with them to the next life.

“The point is, if you just spend enough money, death will be pleasant,” he said after showing a commercial for the “CataCombo Sound System,” which boasts a specially-designed audio setup for the “CataCoffin,” which also allows for the bereaved to manage their dearly departed’s playlist.

“Even after you’ve gone to the ultimate underground club, those who you love can play you your favorite Beatles tune or Brahms concerto,” the Colbert Report host said. “Or if they hate you, Nickelback.”

But Colbert also saw the “CataCoffin” as just the first step in addressing the “rapidly decomposing market” of the dead: he pitched the idea of the “iUrn” for music lovers wishing to be cremated, if you’re “ready to rock your ash off.”

Beer maker Anheuser-Busch, he said, could also capitalize on this idea, by marketing “Bud Light Lime embalming fluid” to go with a music lover’s coffin. And if you’re a lucky stiff who finds the cadaver next door is “making eye sockets” at you, Colbert explained, you shouldn’t be caught dead without a pack of “CataCondoms.”

“Let’s face it — you’re dead, not married,” he said.

Watch Colbert take dead aim at marketing opportunities for the deceased, aired Jan. 15, 2013, below.

Arturo Garcia
Arturo Garcia
Arturo R. García is the managing editor at Racialicious.com. He is based in San Diego, California and has written for both print and broadcast media, including contributions to GlobalComment.com, The Root and Comment Is Free. Follow him on Twitter at @ABoyNamedArt
 
 
 
 
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