Colbert: Hillary left Benghazi hearing with GOP’s ‘nuts in her attaché case’

By David Ferguson
Friday, January 25, 2013 8:43 EDT
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Colbert and Hillary Clinton via screencap
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On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert recapped the drama of Hillary Clinton’s Senate hearing on the terror attack in Benghazi, Libya. Colbert said that it looked like Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) got a little more than he bargained for in his effort to cross examine the Secretary of State, that Clinton did a little stomping on Johnson’s “johnson,” and left the hearing holding the prize, so to speak.

It has been four months since the Benghazi attacks, said Colbert, “and every day the American people on Fox News have been demanding that the American people demand answers.”

Given the chance to hold Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s “feet to the fire,” Senate Republicans proved once and for all, said Colbert, “that they suck at their jobs.”

He then rolled a clip reel of Fox News Channel pundits despairing that the questioning senators didn’t “drill down” on “the questions.” Charles Krauthammer was shown lamenting that no one asked “sequential follow-ups” of Clinton and that her interlocutors were merely making speeches.

“The Republicans looked like weenies,” said Fox contributor Lt. Col. Ralph Peters.

“Yes, weenies,” Colbert agreed. “Pink and plump with just a little bit of sphincter!”

It was Wisconsin’s Sen. Ron Johnson, however, who Colbert found the most “embarrassing.”

“Bill, roll the footage of Hillary stomping Ron’s ‘johnson,’” Colbert said, invoking a slang term for the senator’s penis.

He then cut to the contentious back and forth between Johnson and Clinton, with Johnson insisting that the public at large was misled by the State Department about whether the attack on the consulate sprang out of a spontaneous protest.

“With all due respect,” said Clinton, “the fact is that we had four dead Americans, was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night who decided they’d go kill some Americans? What difference at this point does it make?”

She went on to say that the point of the investigation that has been conducted since the attacks has been to find out what happened, to bring the perpetrators to justice and keep such attacks from happening again.

“Thank you, Madame Secretary,” said Johnson.

“‘Thank you, Madame Secretary?’” mocked Colbert. “‘Thank you, Madame Secretary?’” She just spanked you, Ron! I don’t understand! Unless ‘Thank you, Madame Secretary’ was your safe word.”

Clinton, he said, “slapped these guys around and walked out of there with their nuts in her attaché case.”

Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below:

David Ferguson
David Ferguson
David Ferguson is an editor at Raw Story. He was previously writer and radio producer in Athens, Georgia, hosting two shows for Georgia Public Broadcasting and blogging at Firedoglake.com and elsewhere. He is currently working on a book.
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