Jon Stewart: ‘Every time Dick Cheney laughs, an angel gets stabbed in the dick’

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Just before President Obama’s 2013 State of the Union address, Jon Stewart found himself enraged by former Vice President Dick Cheney’s criticisms of the President aired on CBS. Among other things, Cheney called Obama’s policies flawed and said he was trying to hurt America’s reputation in the world and take the country “down a peg.”

“You know,” said Stewart, “Cheney’s really confident in his opinions and analysis, probably forgetting that he sucked at this.”

He added, “Like, he was a shitty vice [president], but even if Obama wanted to take our standing in the world down a peg he couldn’t ’cause the Bush-Cheney Administration left him with no peg room. I guess Obama could’ve created lower peg space, maybe invest in deep sea peg-hole drilling technology, but unfortunately he can’t afford to because the previous administration left us in a bit of a cash crunch.”

“And by ‘previous Administration, I mean these motherfuckers,” Stewart added. “Where does he get the balls?” Steward wondered, admonishing his audience, “Please don’t say, ‘Cadavers.’”

“This guy was wrong every time,” Stewart continued, after showing clips of a few of Cheney’s less-than-accurate statements about Iraq that led the country into war. “Every time he analyzed it he was wrong. You try that at work, see if you get to keep your job and be wrong every fucking time.”

Watch the whole segment, courtesy of Comedy Central, below: