On his show Monday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart observed the United States seemed doomed when it came to looming across-the-board budget cuts known as the sequester.
After reviewing a list of federal programs that would be cut, Stewart donned a hazmat suit and in a panic warned, “holy shit, we’re doomed, students without financial aid are going to have to get jobs feeding sick children to old people.”
“Please tell me there is still time to fix things,” he remarked.
But the sequester, which will slash defense spending by $55 billion and domestic spending by $27 billion, takes effect on March 1.
“Four days? That’s not enough time to do anything. We can’t even tow a cruise ship full of diarrhea to Alabama in four days. Are they at least working hard on this?”
Stewart learned that Congress has been on recess. Meanwhile, President Barack Obama has been golfing with Tiger Woods. The Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee informed Stewart that the nation’s leaders were actually living it up before the impending doom.
“C’mon, the bangs, Jon?” she said, referring to First Lady Michele Obama. “Nobody over the age of 16 gets bangs unless they know the end is near.”
Watch video, via Mediaite, below: