The Penguin (Patton Oswalt) is forced to deal with a delusional “Dark Knight” in a darkly comic spoof released by CollegeHumor on Monday.
The short begins with a typical scene for Batman (Pete Holmes), as he rescues Commissioner Gordon (Matt McCarthy) from the Gotham crime boss’ clutches. But when one of Penguin’s thugs tries to get the jump on him, the hero takes him down — literally — with a Batarang to the face, shaking both the victim and the villain.
“You guys don’t know this, but when criminals fight me, it’s exhausting,” Batman explains. “‘Cause I’m good. So they often have to nap afterwards.”
“You think they’re sleeping,” an incredulous Penguin replies.
“Poor little guy,” Batman says, as the camera returns to the slain henchman. “He’s all tuckered out.”
Gordon attempts to explain that Batman’s parents were shot and killed, only to be “corrected” by the Caped Crusader.
“My parents were shot, but they’re on a special farm,” Batman answers. “They’re on a special happy farm, where they make buttermilk. They romp, and play. There’s a hammock made of dreams. It’s a very plausible situation: old rich people go to farms.”
After Batman dispatches another goon with his “triangle blades,” Penguin attempts to get him to understand what’s going on.
“If the metal ‘triangle blade’ hits a flesh neck, what happens?” he asks the vigilante.
“They go to sleep, like I do,” Batman answers. “And then they wake up, just like me. Usually with a boner. I call it the Bat-Signal.”
The confrontation escalates into a major redefinition of Batman’s classic “no guns” rule, as seen in this video by CollegeHumor, released April 15, 2013.