Comedy outlet Funny or Die uploaded a video to YouTube on Monday that mock’s Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (R-MN) retirement from the House of Representatives.
In the video, she insisted her decision not to run for reelection was not based on her narrow victory in 2012 or an ongoing FBI investigation
“My decision was not made because I think I will lose the election,” Bachmann explained. “I beat Jim Graves last year by a huge margin of 1 percent, and I know I would beat him again even if I wouldn’t. I also didn’t make this decision based on some investigation about some alleged misappropriations in my campaign finances.”
Her flamboyant husband, Marcus, also appeared to reinforce that he wasn’t himself gay and in fact hated gay people.
“For instance, I would never picture myself in an Italian villa covered in nothing buy lasagna noodles beckoning my lover to come spray his man marinara all over me,” Marcus said. “Oh, wait, who is this? It’s a houseboy, to add some of his paternal parmesan. I’m not gay! Get it!”
Bachmann assured her supporters that despite leaving Congress, she would continue to fight against Obamacare and make sure “girls aren’t being mentally retarded by the HPV vaccine.” She plans to learn to dance, blink and photoshop turbans on President Barack Obama’s head, among other things, during her free time as an ex-congresswoman.
Watch video, courtesy of Funny or Die, below: