John Oliver on Kate Middleton’s pregnancy: ‘Where’s my f*cking baby?’

By Arturo Garcia
Wednesday, July 17, 2013 7:55 EDT
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John Oliver 071613 [Comedy Central]
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The news that Kate Middleton’s expected due date on her pregnancy passed without a delivery didn’t sit well with Daily Show interim host John Oliver on Tuesday night.

“No no no no no, sorry, I refuse to wait any longer.” Oliver demanded before kicking off the show’s coverage. “I guess the key question is, where’s my fucking baby?”

While it takes nine months to make a “common baby,” Oliver said, pulling back, for the Duchess of Cambridge to produce her royal child might take longer, prompting him to mock network news correspondents for also complaining about the wait.

“Oh, I’m sorry, poor you,” Oliver said, chastizing his faux-colleagues. “It’s such hard work standing around for someone else to push a 9-pound human out of her golden vagina.”

With the rest of England also awaiting the royal birth, Oliver — a native of Birmingham — took the opportunity to boast about the fanfare that will accompany the infant’s arrival, including a 62-round salute held at the Tower of London.

“That’s right — cannons, motherfucker,” Oliver exulted. “Let me ask you, did Kim [Kardashian] and Kanye [West's] baby get cannons? No, I think not. At best, she got Nick Cannon, and that is not as good.”

Watch Oliver’s take on the wait for the royal baby, aired Tuesday on Comedy Central, below.

Arturo Garcia
Arturo Garcia
Arturo R. García is the managing editor at Racialicious.com. He is based in San Diego, California and has written for both print and broadcast media, including contributions to GlobalComment.com, The Root and Comment Is Free. Follow him on Twitter at @ABoyNamedArt
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