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Colbert: If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations

By David Ferguson
Thursday, July 18, 2013 7:52 EDT
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Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert congratulated the Republican-controlled House of Representatives for being able to pass the Farm Bill. When the House GOP caucus found that they couldn’t compromise on the subject of food stamps, they just took that portion out of the bill and passed that version.

“That might not sound like much,” said Colbert. “The Farm Bill is a routine piece of legislation that provides subsidies for farmers while setting aside money for food stamps. It’s a win-win, help for the folks who grow the corn and help for folks who live on nothing but corn syrup.”

It’s been two years since the House passed a Farm Bill because 60 Republicans have wanted deeper cuts to food stamps.

“But, last week, House Republicans agreed to an historic compromise on food stamps,” said Colbert, “by eliminating the food stamps.”

He continued, “Republicans showed that they can compromise by removing the part of the bill they refused to compromise on. It’s like a cardiologist who’s having trouble treating a patient’s heart. Rather than getting bogged down with complicated procedures, he simply removes the heart.”

“Problem solved!” he quipped. “And the best part is that patient no longer needs food stamps.”

Last Sunday, CBS News’ Bob Schieffer confronted Republican Rep. Mike Kelly (R-PA) on the issue of food stamps, saying, “You pass a farm bill in the House that gives billions of dollars, much of it to large corporations that own farms. It’s almost like welfare for the wealthy. But you don’t include a dollar for hungry people for food stamps. What kind of message is that?”

“I’ll take that one, Bob,” cut in Colbert. “It is a principled conservative message based on the old adage, ‘Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Take away his food stamps, and he’ll found FishCo, a multinational food conglomerate that gets a massive subsidy in the next Farm Bill.’”

Watch the clip, embedded below via Comedy Central:

David Ferguson
David Ferguson
David Ferguson is an editor at Raw Story. He was previously writer and radio producer in Athens, Georgia, hosting two shows for Georgia Public Broadcasting and blogging at Firedoglake.com and elsewhere. He is currently working on a book.
 
 
 
 
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