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Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin explains complicated Constitutional law words to you

By TBogg
Monday, October 14, 2013 17:57 EDT
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Sarah and Todd Palin visit Chick-fil-A (Facebook)
 
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Neverending punchline and holder of the Bump-it  Industries Constitutional Law Chair at Mat-Su GED’s-r-Us University takes time out from palling around with Canadian terrorists to explain to America that that there Obammer fella is cruisin’ for an impeachable bruisin’ if he doesn’t pay America’s bills the way the Founding Fathers and Jesus would want him to:

(Note: this is also a drinking game. Every time Palin writes the word “debt”: drink a Bartles & Jaymes. But if you wake up tomorrow and find yourself to be a knocked-up-teenager, it’s your own damn fault. Whore.)

I’m sorry. Where were we? Oh yes, Prof. Dr. Palin, please proceed:

Apparently the president thinks he can furlough reality when talking about the debt limit. To suggest that raising the debt limit doesn’t incur more debt is laughably absurd. The very reason why you raise the debt limit is so that you can incur more debt. Otherwise what’s the point?

It’s also shameful to see him scaremongering the markets with his talk of default. There is no way we can default if we follow the Constitution. The Fourteenth Amendment, Section 4, requires that we service our debt first. We currently collect more than enough tax revenue to service our debt if we do that first. However, we don’t have enough money to continue to finance our ever-growing federal government (with our $17 trillion dollar national debt that has increased over 50% since Obama took office). That’s why President Obama wants to increase the debt limit. He doesn’t want to make the tough decisions to rein in government spending.

Also, too: Social Security.

So, he’s scaremongering the markets about default, just as he tries to scaremonger our senior citizens about their Social Security, which, by the way, is funded by the Social Security Trust Fund and is solvent through 2038.

And how, you may very well ask, can this apparently shiftless layabout President get in there and fix this g-d-damned thing? I refer you to an excerpt from the Federalist Papers that is often printed on a Denny’s coloring place-mat:

Sarah Palin burst onto the national scene out of nowhere a couple months ago when she became the Republican vice presidential nominee, but the Alaska governor seems to still not fully understand the details of the job she is applying for.

In an interview with a local Colorado TV station, Palin said the vice president is “in charge of the United States Senate” and “can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes.”

Palin’s statement seems to betray a fundamental understanding about the nature of the vice president’s job. As regards the Senate, the vice president’s official role is to serve as presiding officer, although those duties are traditionally handled by the president pro temproe. Only in the event of a tie can the vice president cast a vote…

Well, sure. The Vice President can’t do that, but the President can because he’s, like, the boss and stuff and also one louder, and you would already know this if you had read the Constitution and the Bill of Rights and the Federalist Papers.

That’s right. All of them, Katie…

 
 
 
 
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