I’m just an Ayn in the House of Love or: Atlas Shagged

By TBogg
Thursday, October 17, 2013 15:03 EDT
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Let’s say for a moment that you’re a single libertarian/objectivist guy or gal who has been looking for love in all the wrong places, by which I mean ‘among polite society’. You could go to singles bars but then you are faced with the unsavory prospect of possibly having to buy drinks for a complete stranger with no guarantee of any return on your investment, to say nothing of having to tip bartenders or cocktail waitresses who are already guaranteed minimum wage. Takers, all of them, filthy disgusting moochers who should get better jobs. Your prospects for developing relationships at work aren’t much better since you have alienated everyone within nine cubicles by refusing to ever pitch in for birthday cakes or going away gifts because, by doing so, you are sanctioning your own victimhood, so that is definitely a non-starter. So where exactly will you find a like-minded person who is willing to not only take responsibility for their own orgasms but also to join you in a loveless simulacrum of wedded bliss?

You are so in luck.

James Hancock wanted to meet a woman who shared his core values. But when you’re a strict Objectivist, it can be a little tricky.

Mr. Hancock is a proponent of Russian-American author Ayn Rand’s philosophy of capitalism and self-interest. At age 30, he had already been “looking for a very specific kind of woman” for three years when Google searches led him to the Atlasphere, an Ayn Rand appreciation site with a dating component.

There, he found his dream date: a woman who also wanted to do logical cost-benefit analyses of every decision.

Hawt. Is three minutes of awkward mutually unfulfilling sex before SportsCenter comes on worth the cost of a single condom, even when purchased in bulk at CostCo? Discuss.

“If you assume that maybe 1 out of 500 people is a serious fan of Ayn Rand’s novels, on a normal dating site you have a 1 in 500 chance of someone sharing the same basic values,” he says. “On the Atlasphere, every profile shows you what you want,” he says. The 10-year-old site has seen a spike in membership in recent years—it has more than 16,000 dating profiles—after two “Atlas Shrugged” movies were released, says Mr. Zader, a Web developer. User handles include “Atlas in Arlington” and “ObjectivelyHot.”

He founded the site after attending Objectivist conferences, where the “open secret” is that most people are there to meet potential partners. “You shouldn’t need to fly to a conference to meet people with your values,” he says.

The site was efficient for Mr. Hancock’s now-wife, Stephanie Betit-Hancock, 33. Her now-husband messaged her 12 hours after she first put up a profile in 2007, and proposed after dating long-distance for six months.

Ms. Betit-Hancock, a schools special-needs coordinator, says she had been “kind of freaking out,” wondering how she’d find someone “rational” to date. She met a man at a meet-up group for fans of libertarian former congressman Ron Paul, but “he couldn’t explain why he supported Ron Paul and why the ideas behind his policies made sense.”

Guys: It is a well known fact that the inability to articulate a well thought-out rationale for supporting Ron Paul on a first date is a big time lady-boner killer. Stay away from politics and go with more generic comments such as “You look pretty. We’re splitting this check, right?” or “Hey, you’ve got really hot breasts, I’d love to suck on them” (Republican consultants only).

Mr. Hancock, an engineer…

Of course. I bet nobody saw that coming.

…says he specifically wrote his profile to “scare people who weren’t serious Objectivists away.”

They now live with their 3-year-old daughter in North Walpole, N.H. Their dog, Frisco, is named for Francisco d’Anconia, the mining tycoon in “Atlas Shrugged.”

There is also lots of Dagny Taggert rapey cosplay and Mrs.Betit-Hancock must refer to Mr. Hancock’s, well, cock, as Rearden Steel because that was in the profile too, and rules are rules…

Also, too. No discussion ever on the internets about Atlas Shrugged is complete without this immortal classic from John Rogers:

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

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