Every witch way but loose

By TBogg
Sunday, November 3, 2013 22:23 EDT
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It seems that angry ginger (… and  is there any other kind? amirite?) and Buckley family charity job case, Brent Bozell has just discovered that the internet is hosting some kind of crazy Satan-worshipping baby-hatin’ Witch-Slut website where women exchange recipes and ideas  for not having babies like the high-volume baby-ejecting Pez dispensers Jesus intended them to be, and OMIGAWD, they even have a book out now, so hide your zygotes!

Feminism isn’t just a brutal philosophy for millions of unborn children. It’s brutal on the Internet. Take the website Jezebel.com, a reference to the prophetess in the Book of Revelation who was “teaching and beguiling my servants to practice immorality.”

Translation: Whores, sluts, trollops, round-heels, loose women who will dress you up in a diaper and then pee on you (David Vitter only).

This summer, a Catholic priest in Gainesville, Virginia took to Facebook to help find an adoptive home for an unborn child with Down syndrome. It spurred a little press boomlet when hundreds of people called or e-mailed the church, volunteering to raise the child. But Katie J.M. Baker of Jezebel thought this story was disgusting.

“So many mistreated babies and kids with Downs live terrible lives,” Baker wrote. “Instead of throwing resources at a nonviable fetus, why can’t the church help children with Down syndrome who are already alive? Because anti-abortion folks care more about fetuses with fairytale narratives than actual babies.”

Two days after this putrid piece, Planned Parenthood honored Baker with a “Maggie Award” for her “ongoing original coverage of reproductive health news and legislation.” Now Baker has been hired by the folks that currently own Newsweek, prompting her to write a departure blog headlined “Goodbye to the Coven.”

The jaw drops. This was an actual baby, not a doomed “non-viable fetus.” Most people who say “Downs kids live terrible lives” are making excuses as they kill them.

This Down-syndrome dissing was just another day at the office for the Jezebel coven.

Let’s save  that “coven” thing for later because Brent is just getting up a head of steam and he’s unstoppable just like that bus in Speed that would be all explodey if it stopped:

Now this website has been transformed into a book, “The Book of Jezebel,” a snark-loaded feminist encyclopedia. It can be repetitive. The condom is “a must-have accessory for protection against two potentially life-threatening conditions: AIDS (among other STIs) and babies.”

You read that sentence correctly.

“Children” are defined as “the side effect of sex,” and “nephew, niece” is defined as “child of a sibling, a partner’s sibling, or a dear friend. They work well as both practice kids and as reminders to use birth control.” A “zygote” is “too young to be a slut, so way more entitled to civil rights than you are.”

While it is true that some women have never experienced the sheer maternal joy of a friends child running amok about a restaurant or pooping in strategically placed bowls about the house (feng shui that one, Sparky) there are some women who may be in need of  guidance with regard to exactly how much vodka is required to make little Neveah Maryrose marginally tolerable. But do they really  need this Whore Bible written by witches and Satan-lovers?

The liberal EmmEssEmm seems to think so:

Unsurprisingly, our leftist media elite love Jezebel. The Huffington Post announced “If these short posts are a sampling of smart womanhood, we’re sold.” The Daily Beast proclaimed the book a “coffee table bible for middle-class feminists everywhere.” USA Today noted the “encyclopedic tome filled with hilarious, female-centric definitions on everything from popular movies, to virginity, to acne.” CNN host Jake Tapper not only promoted the book and Jezebel founder Anna Holmes on air, he attended her book party.

No one loved this book like National Public Radio. They published at least three book reviews and interviewed Anna Holmes at least three times – on “All Things Considered,” on “Marketplace,” and “On Point with Tom Ashbrook.” No one asked Holmes about trashing God, or mothers who choose to have more than two children. No one even asked why she lists her name on Twitter as “SATANna Holmes.” (Emphasis hers.)

Whoa! Hey! Nice catch there, Brent. Anna (or should I say SATANna) Holmes certainly let that black cat at the bag. Game over, Brides of Satan! Nice try, but we’re on to you and your agenda.

Except, this little thing was going on last week while Brent Bozell was Twitter stalking:

From ABC News to the Atlantic Wire to Wired.com, everyone’s talking about the cool new Twitter trend—changing your name to a “spooky” version for Halloween. Here’s how you can join the fun!

Who wouldn’t want to participate in a fun “meme” with a bunch of Twitter users? Only a “Halloween grinch.”…

I think it is safe to say that, just like  sarcasm, irony, hyperbole, mockery, and snark, Brent Bozell is unfamiliar with all internet traditions.

Bless his ginger heart…

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