Until recently Kentucky Senator and brogressive dream date Rand Paul maintained a side gig at the Washington Times where he created mixtapes made up of old Lester Bangs album reviews combined with wikipedia “excerpts” and discarded Cato Institute holiday schedule memos and then, voila!: America was treated to think pieces about things like the fascist tyranny of low flow toilets. But then someone totally narc’d Rand out to the WaTimes editors by pointing out that Rand was a taker and not a maker and they cut him loose, which is really weird since, c’mon, it’s the Moonie Times and they’re a bunch of freaks over there, and we can only imagine how much of a cobag you have to be in order to get fired by them, right?
But, fire him they did:
The Washington Times said Tuesday that it had independently reviewed Mr. Paul’s columns and op-eds and published a correction to his Sept. 20 column in which the senator had failed to attribute a passage that first appeared in The Week.
The newspaper and the senator mutually agreed to end his weekly column, which has appeared each Friday since the summer.
“We expect our columnists to submit original work and to properly attribute material, and we appreciate that the senator and his staff have taken responsibility for an oversight in one column,” Times Editor John Solomon said.
So now Rand Paul is out of a job right before the holidays (THANKS A LOT OBAMA!) and now how will he be able to afford to buy Atlas Shrugged action figure toys as Christmas presents for his little moocher kids:Hayek., Ragnar, and Dany-Sue?
Fortunately there has been some shuffling around at Dead Breitbart’s Mausoleum for Otherwise Unemployables (guy who used to go pick up Arby’s for lunch everyday is the new “editor” because he always remembered to pick up extra ArbySauce packets. Initiative!) and they have managed to fit Rand into their crowded roster of goofs, bedlamites, and outright bullshit artists.So, exciting news!:
Breitbart News Network is pleased to announce that it will be the new home of Kentucky Senator Rand Paul’s editorial column.
“We are pleased to add Senator Paul to our lineup of fearless, original thought leaders,” said Breitbart News CEO Larry Solov. “Most of all, we think the fighting spirit he has become known for is a perfect fit for Breitbart News Network and reflects that of our founder, Andrew Breitbart.”
We, of course wish Sen. Paul the joy of many months of intellectual endeavors, while directing his subordinates to be a little more discrete when copy and pasting internet blog stuff under his name, at least until Shirley Sherrod inevitably takes over the Breitbart domain name and turns the site into the home of ACORN for Hillary! 2016, at which point Rand Paul will probably take his copy klatch kids to some other reputable website like Infowars or probably a Dagny Taggart rape-fantasy fanfic site….
*”Ghost Breibart” courtesy of Wonkette. Because “dead Breitbart” is mean I guess…