Matt Lewis finally has an original thought and it’s a dumb one

By TBogg
Tuesday, November 19, 2013 12:00 EDT
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Little noticed Matt Lewis, who writes for Tucker Carlson’s George Zimmerman Fan-Fic website, has been a conservative writer on the intertubes for years during which he has never expressed an opinion that wasn’t carefully modulated in such a way that he couldn’t land a job working for Fred Hiatt or maybe a guest-spot op-ed in hotel cartoon newspaper USA Today. While  Red State’s Erick Erick Erick Son Of Erick Erickson’s Son has been dishing out meth-crusted red meat to the slavering yahoo hordes and landing himself gigs at CNN and Fox, all Lewis has ever had to offer is a jelly jar of tepid tap water which gets him a coveted spot at Bloggingheads, which is internet TV for people who have lost the will to live.

But today, somebody must have sugared up Matt’s All-Bran with crack because he is raising his voice in a controlled, but moderately frustrated, way at Mary Cheney for slamming Liz Cheney’s dick in the door ant maybe ruining her chances of carpetbagging some prime US Senate real estate.

Shut your gosh-darned pie-hole, Lesbian Mary Cheney!:

The recent fight between the Cheney sisters raises an obvious debate over gay marriage, but there are plenty of people writing about that. And, besides, I can’t help being obsessed with a competing narrative — what this says about family loyalty.

Let’s begin with loyalty to one’s blood relatives — and the fact that Mary Cheney apparently has none. Let’s all let Mary in on a little secret here: YOUR SISTER IS PANDERING. That’s right, once safely ensconced in the U.S. Senate, Liz Cheney will probably “evolve” on the issue.

But Liz is also attempting to actually win a U.S. Senate seat in Wyoming. And to make that happen, Mary, Liz may have to say some things you won’t like. This is a short-term inconvenience. (When you run, Mary, maybe Liz will similarly bite her tongue?) But she needs you now. And you, Mary, are messing that up.

When people talk about the breakdown of the traditional family unit, I suppose this what they mean. It has nothing to do with gay marriage — but everything to do about putting selfishness and individualism ahead of the collective good of the family name.

(We will pause here while you reread that part about saving the good name of la famiglia Cheney and then you roll your eyes so hard that you give yourself a migraine)

Matt’s point, and he thinks he has one, is the equivalent of saying “Shut up, you dick! People are listening!”.

Then Lewis kind of loses the thread where he seems to confuse the actions of not-lesbian Cheney with lesbian Cheney :

Putting personal political views ahead of blood relatives (I get that Mary is now married — and this constitutes her new family) seems like a relatively new phenomenon. This is partly because of social media (all Mary Cheney had to do was get angry and sign on to Facebook), but, my guess is this has something to do with our new individualistic world — and the fact that expectations of familial loyalty are diminished.

As I understand it, Mary and Liz Cheney are blood relatives no matter which non-man Mary marries. So, when Liz diminishes her sister’s choice of marital status and partner in pursuit of a job, she’s the one who is shooting “familial loyalty” in the face.  The fact of the matter is that Liz Cheney (daughter of Dick) is getting mau-maued by gay-hatin’ Sarah Huckabee Sanders (daughter of Mike) and Liz rose to the bait because she desperately wants to represent a state that likes their gays tied to a fence and left to die from exposure. And if Liz Cheney has to stand on the bodies of her sister, her partner, and their kids, they should just suck it up and take it.
Because, you know,  family loyalty and stuff….
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