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Only 21 freakout days ’til Michelle Obama’s Hip Hop Watusi Birthday Party

By TBogg
Friday, December 27, 2013 0:46 EDT
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First Lady Michelle Obama via AFP
 
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As the year comes to a close and we box up 2013′s Obama scandals (Benghazi, IRS, funeral selfies*) we begin to anticipate things over which conservative shit will be lost and, hello! here we go: Michelle Obama’s big 5-0 birthday party is just around the corner. What fun that will be:

 To celebrate the first lady’s birthday on Jan. 17 the White House will be holding a party the following day called, “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert,” the Chicago Tribune reported Thursday, citing sources.

Save-the-date emails are already being sent with instructions for guests to “wear comfortable shoes, eat before you come and practice your dance moves,” the paper said.

It will probably just be a simple affair like when Michelle’s baby daddy celebrated his 50th and everyone was all cool with that:

The president celebrated his 50th birthday in 2011 with a barbecue in the Rose Garden with plenty of friends, lawmakers, donors and celebrities joining the festivities

…and nobody paid it no mind, no way, no how.

Almost:

Screen Shot 2013-12-26 at 10.27.58 PM

So we can probably expect a slow build up of stories about how much this is going to cost and how “Moochelle” is going to force  everyone to eat boring old heathy food at her party and then the guests will have to dance dance dance which will only make Michelle Malkin do another one of these videos:

…and then nobody wins.

Particularly those with ‘ears that hear and eyes that see’ (Proverbs 20:12) so really this an affront to God… and it is all Michelle Obama’s fault.

 

*Just kidding. THEY. WILL. NEVER. EVER. GO. AWAY. EVER. EVER.

 
 
 
 
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