Jon Stewart on Chris Christie’s scandal: ‘You can see Paul Ryan’s b*ner from space’

By Arturo Garcia
Thursday, January 9, 2014 0:25 EDT
google plus icon
Jon Stewart 010814 [YouTube]
  • Print Friendly and PDF
  • Email this page

Jon Stewart doesn’t just host the Daily Show, he’s his own “Senior New Jersey Correspondent,” which placed him in the perfect position on Wednesday to express his disappointment over the suspicious bridge lane closures linked to members of Gov. Chris Christie’s (R) administration.

“Political payback through traffic congestion?” Stewart said disgustedly. “To see New Jersey sink to such a pi*s-poor third-rate quality of corruption. This is New Jersey. A state renowned for its pi*s-rich, first-rate quality of corruption.”

Stewart did give credit to Christie for his attempt to squelch the issue in December by saying he was “working the cones” on the George Washington Bridge at the time.

“That is a level of d*ckishness and sarcasm befitting our great state,” Stewart said. “It’s how I used to handle any accusation of wrongdoing at home as well: ‘Yeah, Mom, I was totally smoking pot. I’m a drug fiend, and me and my friends just smoked a whole bag of weed, yeah, and now we sell it to other people — that’s what we do.’”

But the situation, Stewart argued, was a far cry from the 1970s, when the state was where the Federal Bureau of Investigation went when it wanted to entrap lawmakers using a “fake sheikh,” referring to the “Abscam” investigation. Stewart also boasted about the state being the setting for Boardwalk Empire and The Sopranos, fictionalized stories about corruption set decades apart.

So hearing that members of the administration orchestrated the traffic jams that ensnared Fort Lee via email got Stewart’s goat.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourselves,” Stewart chided. “You’re an embarassment to dialogue.”

Stewart then acted out how he thought the discussion should have gone:

“Hey, did you take care of that thing?”
“Yeah, that thing? I took care of that thing. Yeah, our good friend Lee? Yeah, he’s constipated, alright.”

But even if the burgeoning investigation threatens Christie’s presidential aspirations, Stewart observed, it was boosting another Republican’s spirits.

“You can probably now see Paul Ryan’s b*ner from space,” he said.

Watch Stewart take on the Christie controversy, as posted online on Wednesday, below.

Arturo Garcia
Arturo Garcia
Arturo R. García is the managing editor at Racialicious.com. He is based in San Diego, California and has written for both print and broadcast media, including contributions to GlobalComment.com, The Root and Comment Is Free. Follow him on Twitter at @ABoyNamedArt
By commenting, you agree to our terms of service
and to abide by our commenting policy.