I’m sure that you will be surprised to learn that, regardless of the air of sophistication and grace with which Sarah Palin has conducted herself since dashing young John McCain formally presented her to the world at the GOP’s 2008 St. Paul Debutante Ball, there have occasionally been glimpses of her darker side. Her ‘unpleasant’ side. Something about her that seems… not right. No, really. There have been times, albeit few and far between, when Sarah Palin has displayed the feral nastiness of a tweaker who suspects that he’s been ripped off combined with the lack of forgiveness exhibited by a Colombian drug lord who knows that he’s been ripped off.
So when perpetually tipsy Wall Street Journal word-scribbler Peggy Noonan penned a, by today’s standards, fairly anodyne column about how Real America is being destroyed by that nubian rapscallion in the White House, we would have expected Sister Sarah to hallelujah the holy shit out of it. Maybe Sarah would have even sent over a couple of jars of homemade pickled moose testicles, – which Peggy would have mistaken for overly large martini olives – as a gesture of sisterly bonding. But this, remarkably enough, did not happen.
Noonan’s column, “Meanwhile, Back In America…” told the tale of an America ravaged and defiled by the lustful and wanton desires of a man flush with the aphrodisiac of power. Noonan’s fluttery prose documented Obama’s offenses against God & nature: the Affordable Care Act, saying “no” to school vouchers, and the IRS ‘scandal’. For those keeping score at home, chalk this up as a two-for-three day since, in order to score a true Wingnut Trifecta, Peggy should have replaced ‘vouchers’ with ‘BENGHAZI!’ Sorry, but please enjoy a complimentary home edition of Look Whut They Doned To Mah ‘Murica, Ma and see yourself out.
At first glance it would be easy to suspect that Sarah Palin was upset that Upper East Side Peggy Noonan would deign to speak for the simple folk of America because it is a known and provable scientific fact that those simple people are Sarah Palin’s simple people and that Sarah has their hard-earned money to prove it.
No, this conflict is much more raw than that.
It seems that way back in 2008 when John McCain and Sarah Palin’s love was as pure and dewy as a Nicholas Sparks novel (pick one, any one), mean old Peggy Noonan called “bullshit”, and probably also made a jerk-off motion with her fist, while on the teevee.
Here let Peggy ‘splain what happened:
When the segment was over and MSNBC was in commercial, [Chuck] Todd, [Michael] Murphy and I continued our conversation, talking about the Palin choice overall. We were speaking informally, with some passion — and into live mics. An audio tape of that conversation was sent, how or by whom I don’t know, onto the internet. And within three hours I was receiving it from friends far and wide, asking me why I thought the McCain campaign is “over”, as it says in the transcript of the conversation.
Roll tape, please:
Mike Murphy: You know, because I come out of the blue swing state governor world: Engler, Whitman, Tommy Thompson, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush. I mean, these guys — this is how you win a Texas race, just run it up. And it’s not gonna work. And –
Peggy Noonan: It’s over.
MM: Still McCain can give a version of the Lieberman speech to do himself some good.
Chuck Todd: I also think the Palin pick is insulting to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, too.
PN: Saw Kay this morning.
CT: Yeah, she’s never looked comfortable about this –
MM: They’re all bummed out.
CT: Yeah, I mean is she really the most qualified woman they could have turned to?
PN: The most qualified? No! I think they went for this — excuse me– political bullshit about narratives –
CT: Yeah they went to a narrative.
MM: I totally agree.
PN: Every time the Republicans do that, because that’s not where they live and it’s not what they’re good at, they blow it.
There you have it. Over five years ago Peggy Noonan did swears on teevee about Sarah Palin and Sarah Palin heard about it and she made a note of it in her Burn Book and today she extracted her revenge by using her ShoutyFace book thing:
Great article, Peggy, but where the heck were you when I and other commonsense conservatives were sounding the warning bell in ’08? You joined the “cool kids” in mocking and condescendingly criticizing — ultimately demanding that we “sit down and shut up.” Better late than never, though, Peggy and your ilk, because, meanwhile back in America…
Oh SNAP. And Sarah also used that “better late than never” line that she usually reserves for her daughters when their period finally happens. You have been SERVED, Peggy Noonan, total wicked burn. So go sit at your “cool kids” lunch table with the other “cool kids” while Sarah Palin sits at a table in Wal-Mart and peddles her war on Christmas books.
And put that in your appletini and smoke it…