You might be excused for thinking that, after five years, a certain segment of America- the Real Americans – would have finally accepted the fact that a nice black couple and their two kids had taken up residence in the neighborhood and they won’t be moving out for a few more years. You might also think that these same Real Americans would get the hell over it.
These folks – let’s call them the 27% – who think that the poor are lazy and that it is too easy to vote in America, prefer their White House to literally be The White House. They don’t want some uppity civil servant, who probably got his job over a white man or two because of his skin color, living large on their taxpayer dimes, partying all night long, wearing expensive threads and flashing bling.
Saint Ronald Regan warned us about these kind of people when he told us the story of the welfare queen:
“In Chicago, they found a woman who holds the record,” the former California governor declared at a campaign rally in January 1976. “She used 80 names, 30 addresses, 15 telephone numbers to collect food stamps, Social Security, veterans’ benefits for four nonexistent deceased veteran husbands, as well as welfare. Her tax-free cash income alone has been running $150,000 a year.” As soon as he quoted that dollar amount, the crowd gasped.
So this past week must have been an absolute hellscape for the Watering The Tree of Liberty With The Blood Of The Guy Who Whistled At A White Woman folks when President Barack Obama and his lovely wife played host to French President Francois Hollande at a state dinner.
Let us count the ways in which this was offensive to all right-thinking people…
1. I’ll be doggone:
First Lady Michelle Obama tweeted a picture of First and Second Dogs, Bo and Sunny, sitting at a finely laid out table.
Adorable, right? Hell no! You should be freaking out and pounding your chest like the rage apes at Twitchy, under the headline: Tone deaf: First dogs Bo and Sunny Obama dine like 1 percenters. If the White House had photo-shopped the dogs heads into “Dogs Playing Poker” the Twitchidiots would be shrieking that those shiftless junkyard dogs were blowing American’s hard-earned U.S. tax dollars on gambling. Because, yes, Bo and Sunny were actually dining like 1 percenters.
2. The handbags and the gladrags that your Grandad had to sweat so you could buy
Michelle Obama wore a Caroline Hererra gown (seen above), because she is the First Lady and the official hostess for the dinner, and she rocked it (as usual) like David Beckham rocks skin. Again, with the Twitchy people, led by Michelle Malkin who can’t tell the difference between a cheerleaders uniform and the Catholic schoolgirl outfit which she usually only pulls out of her closet for her husband’s birthday. Malkin was nice enough to encourage her readers to send her fashion-selfies featuring the latest in t hoi poloi hawtness, the likes of which would make Tim Gunn wish he had been born blind … or probably not at all.
Of curse nobody mentions Laura Bush’s Oscar de la Renta gown or Nancy Reagan’s Galanos sheath gown, to say nothing of Jackie Kennedy’s pink Chanel suit that was simply ruined during a visit to Dallas.
3. If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding!
Newly elected U.S. Rep. Rodney Davis (R-Dumbass Freshman) has launched his freshly hatched, and probably brief, political career by introducing H.R. 3686, the School Nutrition Fairness Act, that would “require official White House meals to follow the same USDA mandated guidelines for school lunch and breakfast programs.” Because dry-aged ribeye beef served with blue cheese, 12 varieties of potatoes and quail eggs is too good for the President of France, who is not even an American by the way. Hollande should have been forced to eat whatever was on the cafeteria menu on Tuesday, which was probably tacos because every Tuesday in every school in America is Taco Tuesday because of our American alliteration laws which are mandated by either the Constitution or the Federalist Papers. One of those. Maybe both.
As President Hollande might say, ‘le sigh‘.
Quite obviously the Obama’s are not supposed to have nice things which are the sole province of people who already own fancy things like dancing horses, car elevators, and beer distributorships. You know: rich white people. And whenever Real Americans see someone of the wrong hue enjoying the finer things in life, they instinctively know those extravagances must be direct result of ill-gotten gains, most likely at the public’s expense.
I’m telling you, those dusky people. Who do they think they are?