Daily Show on Princeton Mom: ‘Men are terrible creatures — get one while you can!’

By Travis Gettys
Friday, March 28, 2014 8:52 EDT
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Jon Stewart 3.27.14
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Jon Stewart mocked the news media for giving so much airtime to “Princeton mom” author Susan Patton.

The “Daily Show” host pointed out Thursday night that women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by a man, but he doubted Congress would do anything about it.

“Of course they won’t, because in my experience here I’ve found them to be a**holes,” he said. “Seriously, I can’t stand them, even the ones in my own party. I probably shouldn’t be saying this aloud in my weekly address, but I’d like to quit.”

But Stewart said the issue of women’s pay equality was an important one.

“I’m sure our financial networks address this issue with the seriousness that it deserves,” he said.

His producers played a montage of Patton, who has suggested that women prioritize their personal lives over their education or careers by finding a mate in college, appearing on a variety of news programs.

“Or you can talk to that lady about it,” Stewart said.

Patton admitted during one segment that she wasn’t a White House expert, and Stewart was stumped.

“If you don’t have much to say about equality, what are you talking about when you’re visiting CNN’s ‘Newsroom,’ MSNBC’s ‘Morning Joe,’ NBC’s ‘Today’ show, Fox Business’ ‘Money with Melissa Francis,’ Fox’s ‘America Live,’ and Fox’s ‘America’s Newsroom’?” he said.

Patton told her hosts that work will wait, but fertility won’t, and she read from her book a suggestion that women find a husband on campus before graduation.

“Yes, I went there,” Patton said.

“You went where? To the 19th Century?” Stewart said. “So apparently the problem women have in your mind is too much equality?”

Kristen Schaal, “The Daily Show’s” senior women’s issues correspondent, said Patton had caused her to question the direction of her own life, lamenting that her “dewy, adorable days (were) in the rear-view mirror.”

Stewart assured Schaal she was still “dewier than the Dewey Decimal System,” and reminded her she was already married.

“Yeah,” she noted bitterly, “to a comedy writer – the lowest of the low.”

She agreed with Patton, who said women were faced with a limited to time to get married and have babies.

“Too many girls have been seduced by the feminist lie that women over 30 are remotely doable,” Schaal said. “The hard truth is that month after month, your precious eggs are just jumping out of your vagina like rats off a sinking ship.”

She reminded Stewart that life was no fairy tale, and pointed out that Patton’s views were “facts, based on opinion,” that women needed to hear.

“Men are terrible creatures,” Schaal said. “Get one as soon as you can!”

Watch the entire episode posted online by Hulu:

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