Success is how high you bounce back after you hit and kick your girlfriend 117 times

By TBogg
Friday, April 25, 2014 10:48 EDT
google plus icon
  • Print Friendly and PDF
  • Email this page

‘I, douchebag’

Gurbaksh Chahal is a wronged man.

The wealthy tech entrepreneur and Chris Brown of Silicon Valley is just trying to get on with his life after being railroaded into accepting 25 hours of community service time, three years of probation, and a 52-week domestic violence training program for treating his girlfriend like a speedbag for thirty minutes.

If you’re not familiar with the story, Chahal was hit with 45 felony counts of domestic abuse after police arrived at his home following a 911 call. What did they find?:

Home security footage reportedly showed Chahal beating and kicking his girlfriend 117 times during the 30-minute attack. Prosecutors said Chahal lashed out at his girlfriend upon learning that she had cheated on him with another man during a trip to Las Vegas, according to court documents.

Chahal could have gone to prison for a long long time where, presumably he wouldn’t fare well, but San Francisco Superior Court Judge Brendan Conroy disallowed the surveillance video as evidence because police took it from his apartment from Chahal’s apartment without obtaining a warrant and, anyone who has ever watched a single episode of Law & Order knows, you can’t do that. Add the fact that his girlfriend, after hiring  high priced attorney Mark Geragos (who defended Chris Brown -symmetry!), suddenly decided to become uncooperative with the police, and prosecutors found their hands tied.

“We disagree with the judge’s suppression of the video,” San Francisco District Attorney’s Office spokesperson Alex Bastian said in a statement. “The judge’s ruling substantially weakened the evidence we had for prosecution. Though it is not the outcome we had hoped for, the case has reached a resolution where the defendant acknowledges guilt, is placed on domestic violence probation and has to take domestic violence classes.”

So despite hitting and kicking his girlfriend approximately once ever fifteen seconds over a thirty minute period – which was recorded on tape so we know that it happened – and despite Chahal’s attorney  failure to deny that he smacked his girlfriend around,  insisting ‘the physical damage was overblown, ‘ Chahal gets to walk with a slap on the wrist and yet he is now  sad because everyone thinks he’s kind of bad guy who likes to hit women.

The good news for him is that, by avoiding any felony convictions, he gets to stay  on the board of his tech company – RadiumOne – which is preparing to go public, after which he will become even richer meaning more women can do the cost benefit analysis of dating a rich woman beater before deciding to go out on a date with him.

In the meantime, instead of laying low, Chahal has taken to Twitter to profess his “kind-of’ innocence and pretend that, although there are pics, it didn’t happen:

chahal tweets

(UPDATE) This morning Chahal deleted all of the tweets above, presumably because of all the responses to him telling him to release the video. For example.

Also, he wants you to known that is heart will go on and ain’t nobody gonna break his stride:


Pro-tip: When everyone knows you’re a woman beater, try to avoid using inspirational messages with the word “hit” in them…..

[Images Gurbaksh Chahal Facebook]


By commenting, you agree to our terms of service
and to abide by our commenting policy.