On HBO’s Last Week Tonight, host John Oliver explained to American audiences how Europe resolves their differences each year with the Eurovision Song Contest, calling the performances “3-minute songtastrophes” before celebrating the winner, bearded diva Conchita Wurst.
“Let me explain. There is a thing called the Eurovision Song Contest. It happens once every year, and it is simply the craziest thing that you will ever see, ” he said. “Basically, 37 European countries sublimate thousands of years of ethnic and religious tensions into a series of bizarre 3-minute songtastrophes.”
Pointing out that the final pitted Russia versus the Ukraine with the other European nations voting on the winner, Oliver explained that, “…this contest genuinely had more international oversight than the Crimean vote for secession.”
Ukraine’s submission featured a man running in hamster wheel and was called ‘Tick-Tock,’ which Oliver described as, “Basically, a countdown to an explosion.”
Russia countered with a song sung by “folically conjoined twins” singing what Oliver called “an anthem to annexation.”
Saying that the only way to save Europe from war is if the contest was won by “someone so spectacularly wonderful that it erased the tensions in a heartbeat” Oliver showed a clip of eventual winner Wurst who proclaimed, “We are unity, and we are unstoppable.”
Oliver added, “That’s awesome. Is it just me or, between Conchita and Michael Sam, did the world, did the whole world, feel like it became a better place to live in the last 24 hours?”
Watch the video below, uploaded to YouTube by HBO:
Tom Boggioni is based in the quaint seaside community of Pacific Beach in less quaint San Diego. He writes about politics, media, culture, and other annoyances. Mostly he spends his days at the beach gazing at the horizon waiting for the end of the world, or the sun to go down. Whichever comes first.
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