Oh high school graduation time. The kids are all excited and the parents are wavering between proud and anxious and everyone is so involved in the whole process that no one can spare a minute to pity the petty tyrants that infest every high school, who are losing yet another crop of kids to control and bully. These folks, who react poorly to their own waning youth by trying to suck the fun out of being young for teenagers, can be found both in administration and in the classrooms. Are they all people who work in public schools? No. But every public school has them. And every year, these petty tyrants watch another group of kids they’ve been able to push around for four years slide away from them.
The pain it must cause them, waking up on graduation day and realizing that tomorrow, they have no more control. No more punishing them for having fun. No more enforcing of arbitrary dress codes. No more lectures about how they’re rotting their brains with the smart phones and the hip-hop and the TV shows. But before that day comes, the petty tyrants will make one last power grab. They will try to make graduation as unfun as possible, and, of course, scour the earth looking for unauthorized pleasures taken by the students that can now be punished by yanking graduation away from them. You kids think you can just make your jokes and have your laughs, just because school is ending? The petty tyrants will show you who still holds the cards. Grandma will not be seeing you walk across the stage at graduation! How do you like them apples?
The award for this year’s petty tyrant graduation-related temper tantrum goes to the school officials at Mundy’s Mill High School in Clayton County, Georgia. The senior class vice-president, who was tapped to give a speech at graduation, is being threatened with a ban from her high school graduation for using this as her yearbook quote:
You are probably not as up on your periodic tables as Gray is, but if you change all those element names to their chemical symbols, it reads “BaCK ThAt AsS UP.”
There is no purpose to banning her from graduation for this prank besides vengeance because Gray had some unauthorized fun. Full stop. Anyone involved in punishing a high school girl for a harmless joke that involves the chemical elements is someone whose prudery and hatred for the young has distorted their soul until they are dead inside. How hateful. How sad. The joke is cute. It’s good she paid attention in chemistry. Leave it alone, assholes.
In addition, I will point out that backing one’s ass up is a fine way to use your ass. In fact, it’s probably the second most common task asses are put to, besides sitting on them. Ideally, you really should spend more time backing your ass up and less time sitting on it, for health reasons. So not only is this a nerdy science joke of the sort schools should be celebrating, it’s just good advice for living.
Luckily, Gray’s mom is supportive of her. “My first reaction was, you are such a nerd,” she said. Yes. God forbid.