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This Tea Party 2nd American Revolution Dream Team will shock and delight you

By TBogg
Tuesday, July 1, 2014 13:42 EDT
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Recently our gal pal from Alaska’s meth capital, put America on notice that she is not in the least bit happy with our tribalistic slave-to-the-oligarchs duopoly where there is not a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties. Tossing her hair in disdain, albeit carefully lest she suffer the dreaded lady malady known as “Bumpit shift,’ Sarah Palin threatened to take the Tea Partiers home with her and party so hard with them that America would be forced to sit up and take notice, maybe call the cops because the music is too damn loud.

Because I love America, I heartily agreed with her because splitting the Republican  Party into two warring camps — one entirely made up of loons — would certainly do the country some good.

Well that dream of a party of strict constitutionalists who do not have time for niceties and “science” and “facts” and “math” (which is only a theory like “time”) may be closer than you think.

Recently the Tea partying Metropolitan Detroit Freedom Coalition (MEDEFCO) — who love the Founding Fathers so much that their website looks like it was designed in 1776 — invited New Zealand libertarian gadfly Trevor Loudon to speak to them — for a modest fee –  because they felt they needed some outside perspective on this whole “What’s wrong with America?” conundrum.

Loudon, or as I like to call him: Crocodile Dumbdee, is every bit as nutbar as Louie Gohmert, but people don’t seem to notice because he has an accent and Americans react to many foreign accents will childish glee and wonder … unless it is a Mexican one, in which case: ‘boo, go home.’

It should be noted that Loudon, along with being a libertarian, is also described as an adherent of ‘Zenith Applied Philosophy,’ which is described as a heady mixture of “Scientology, Eastern mysticism and the ideas of the American John Birch Society,” which sounds like astrology, white supremacy, and a belief that sexual nirvana is just two wetsuits, a dildo, and sturdy overhead beam away.

Speaking at Veterans of Foreign Wars Bruce Post 1146 in St. Clair, Michigan (which seems to be some kind of idiot/circumcision truther magnet), Loudon explained to an appreciative crowd that a 2nd American Revolution is needed and they can only do that with  a team equal to George Washington, Thomas Jefferson,  Benjamin Franklin , James Madison, and Samuel Adams [note: not the beer guy]. Fortunately for the Tea Partiers, such a group of brilliant brave patriots walk amongst us right now, and Loudon name checks them off with their appropriate cabinet positions and

It.

Is.

Delightful.

I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but let’s just say that no Dream Team is complete without that dreamy Ted Cruz at the top of the ticket, a brilliant military strategist and anger management drop-out for VP, a tousled-haired uncertified ophthalmologist at Treasury, and a certain be-bumpited word-scrambler as Energy Secretary, putting those naughty secretary glasses to work.

Briefly.

Before she quits.

Anyway, watch the whole hilarious video below:

[sideshow carnival game clowns with mouths open on Shutterstock]

 
 
 
 
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