Jon Stewart: ‘Creepy inmate’ Rick Perry looks like he’s in ‘Orange Is The New Blecch’
Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s (R) indictment last week on corruption charges, Daily Show Jon Stewart observed on Thursday, had some conservatives breathlessly saying it was Perry’s chance to remake his image.
“Ah, the priceless ‘rebrand,’” Stewart said. “From ‘forgetful doof’ to ‘possible felon.’ The same trick that worked when, after the BP Gulf oil spill, they renamed themselves ‘Amalgamated asbestos and c*ck punch, incorporated.’”
While the thought of Perry’s indictment made Stewart worry that it could derail his presidential prospects for 2016 — “You can’t just give this to me and take it away,” he protested — he eventually reasoned that there were both Republicans and Democrats supporting it, because it would ensure that Perry would “ultimately lose in an entertaining fashion.”
Instead of being charged with being, as Stewart said, “criminally handsome” in his mugshot, Perry is accused of coercion of a public servant and abuse of public capacity for threatening to veto funding for the state public integrity unit, based out of Travis County.
“Not to mention a misdemeanor for stealing MSNBC’s glasses,” Stewart observed. “They need to see, Rick.”
Prosecutors said Perry overstepped his bounds by threatening to cut $7.5 million from the agency’s coffers unless District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg resign following her drunk-driving arrest last year. An official for the agency said it was investigating allegations of “cronyism” at the Cancer Prevention & Research Institute of Texas.
“Cronyism in cancer [research]?” Stewart asked incredulously. “How does that even work? All the benign tumors go to your golf buddies? How does that work?”
In fact, critics have accused Perry’s administration of siphoning money from the institute for use by Perry and Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst (R).
While Stewart was also surprised that a Republican special prosecutor and judge would pursue an indictment against Perry, footage of Lehmberg criticizing officers and being restrained after her arrest changed his impression of her as a “well-meaning Democratic integrity warrior princess” innocent.
“Like the lovechild of Hannibal Lecter and David Hasselhoff’s cheeseburger video,” Stewart said after seeing the video.
Of course, seeing Perry tell a reporter, “You can give me better than that” after fishing for compliments didn’t bolster Stewart’s confidence in the govenor, either.
“I think Perry’s gonna make a bit of a creepy inmate, if you ask me,” Stewart said. “Little bit of Orange Is The New Blecch.”
Watch Stewart’s commentary, as posted online on Thursday, below.