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Shatner and Billy Dee pitch ‘Star Wars’ director on love for Lando and Leia and Chewie love

Jimmy Kimmel took another round of audience questions regarding the Star Wars franchise in an interview with director J.J. Abrams on Wednesday, only to find consensus on an unusual romantic pairing: Princess Leia and Chewbacca the Wookie. “I agree with those weird people,” said Star Trek stalwart William Shatner, concurring…

Colorado GOP state senator ducks questions from Aurora victim’s father

The father of one of the victims of the July 2012 mass shooting in Colorado told Talking Points Memo on Friday that his state’s Senate Minority Leader, Bill Cadman (R), rebuffed him while sharing pictures of his son. “I walked right up to him, and I handed him one of…

Appeals court rules Fair Sentencing Act applies retroactively to crack offenses

A federal appeals court ruled on Friday that a 2010 law mandating less-stringent penalties on drug-related offenses can be retroactively applied to jail sentences involving crack cocaine. The Associated Press reported that the decision by the U.S. 6th Circuit Court of Appeals clears the way for thousands of inmates convicted…

Hit-and-run driver flees scene to avoid ‘defecating in his pants’

A 27-year-old Florida man fled the scene of an auto accident but authorities said the dash was due to bowel irritability, instead of a lack of accountability. The TC Palm reported on Thursday police in Port St. Lucie said Carlos Baca left the area after his pickup truck backed into…

Stewart mocks horse-race media for ‘attention span of a concussed goldfish’

As President Barack Obama fights himself on a three-and-a-half-year long “race up shit’s creek,” Jon Stewart pointed out, his best hope would be the fact that Beltway media, cursed by “the attention span of a concussed goldfish,” was already laying out predictions for the 2016 elections, despite the fact that…

Health officials: Feces found in almost 60 percent of public pools

Officials at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) are advising swimmers at public pools nationwide to be extra careful, after finding that nearly 60 percent of pools in the Atlanta area tested positive for traces of fecal matter. CBS News reported on Thursday that the CDC found the bacteria Escherichia…

Report: Republicans were source of bogus Benghazi quotes

Republicans provided the erroneous quotes linked to White House emails regarding how to address the September 2012 attack on a U.S. consulate in Libya, CBS News reported on Thursday. According to the report by chief White House correspondent Major Garrett, a quote leaked on May 10 attributed to then-Deputy National…

Uzbekistan native arrested on federal terrorism charges

A 30-year-old native of Uzbekistan was arrested on Thursday in Boise, Idaho and charged with helping a terrorist group in his home country and teaching others how to use explosive devices. The Idaho Statesman reported that Fazliddin Kurbanov, who is currently residing in Idaho legally, was charged with one count…

Army sexual harassment officer accused of stalking ex-wife

Another U.S. Army officer in charge of a sexual assault prevention program was arrested on Wednesday, on charges of stalking his ex-wife. The Associated Press reported on Thursday that Lt. Col. Darin Haas turned himself in to police late Wednesday night on charges of violating an order of protection against…

Michigan school bans ‘baby bumps’ from yearbook pics

Two high school students in White Cloud, Michigan, are saying their school is discriminating against them by refusing to display their pregnancies in the school yearbook. Deonna Harris, a junior at White Cloud High, told WOOD-TV that she was pulled out of class on Tuesday by a yearbook staff member…

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