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Colbert announces ‘Ham Rove’ memorial fund

On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert said a final farewell to trusted friend and adviser Ham Rove. The host went on to establish a memorial fund in memory of Ham, so that a little bit of his porky goodness may live on forever. “Before we…

Charlie Crist says he regrets signing anti-same sex marriage petition

Former Florida governor and newly minted Democrat Charlie Crist said on Wednesday that he regrets signing a 2006 petition against same sex marriage. According to the Tampa Bay Times, Crist named the petition as one of his chief regrets from his time in office. “Would I do it today? No,”…

Jailed killer foiled own plot to murder and castrate Justin Bieber

Police have taken two Albuquerque, New Mexico men into custody alleging that they were plotting to murder and mutilate teenage pop singer Justin Bieber and three other people.  According to Albuquerque’s KQRE, the men had even gone so far as to specify what kind of tie should be used to…

Lesbian barred from joining Army wives group at Ft. Bragg

The same sex partner of a ranking officer at North Carolina’s Ft. Bragg Army Base has been barred from joining a military wives’ organization, the Association of Bragg Officers’ Spouses. According to the blog Queerty, Ashley Broadway and her wife, Army Lieutenant Colonel Heather Mack, have every reason to believe…

Colbert: Fox News so desperate they’re breaking out their ‘emergency Muslims’

Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert discussed the sad state of affairs at the Fox News Channel, where, in the wake of the Benghazi non-scandal, no juicy stories have come along to rile up the Fox Nation. The network, said Colbert, is being forced to trot out…

Spanish police arrest woman with cocaine breast implants

Spanish police arrested a Panamanian woman when she landed in Spain on a flight from Bogata, Colombia with cocaine-filled breast implants. According to Reuters, Spain’s Interior Ministry reported that border control officials became suspicious of the woman’s vague answers as to why she was in the country. Spanish authorities conduct…

Rep. Jim Moran’s son pleads guilty to assaulting girlfriend at bar

Patrick Moran, son and former campaign manager of Rep. Jim Moran (D-VA) has pled guilty to beating up his girlfriend outside of a bar in the Columbia Heights area of Washington, DC. According to the Washington City Paper, Patrick Moran entered the guilty plea as part of a deal to…

Supreme Court to make procedural ruling on who can argue DOMA case

The U.S. Supreme Court has invited a Harvard professor to argue that the nine justices cannot hear one of the two same sex marriage cases it is slated to rule on in spring of 2013. The Associated Press reported that constitutional law professor Vicki C. Jackson has been asked to…

Ikea monkey sent to live coatless in animal sanctuary

Darwin, the 5-month-old monkey who escaped from his crate and followed his owners into a Toronto Ikea store, is being sent to live at a private animal sanctuary. According to CBC News, Darwin was taken from his owners, who were fined for keeping a prohibited animal as a pet. The…

Retta from ‘Parks and Recreation’ blows Conan away, Puccini-style

Monday night on “Conan O’Brian,” comic and “Parks and Recreation” cast-member Retta showed Conan how she rolls. The New Jersey-born performer explained that she is a classical music fan, which comes as a surprise to some people. Retta told O’Brian about a recent encounter at a traffic light, when she…

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