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Conan tweaks Romney’s commencement address: ‘I don’t think God cares’

Late night talk host Conan O’Brien aired a sketch Tuesday night that tweaked failed Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s recent commencement address given to graduates at Southern Virginia University, editing the former Massachusetts governor to show him telling the crowd: “I don’t think God cares.” Of course, that’s not what…

Florida 3-year-old fatally shoots himself with concealed permit holder’s gun

A 3-year-old boy died in Florida on Tuesday after police said he shot himself to death with his uncle’s gun. Detectives for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said that 3-year-old Jadarrius Speights had found a 9mm gun in a backpack owned by his 29-year-old uncle, Jeffrey Walker. The two shared…

‘Old woman’ Colbert tells Maryland Dem.: Stop Obama from taking my Social Security

Stephen Colbert adopted the persona of a senior citizen on Monday to highlight Rep. Donna Edwards’ (D-MD) disagreement with President Barack Obama on whether to cut Social Security benefits. “Imagine I’m an old woman in your district,” Colbert proposed to Edwards, who represents her state’s 4th congressional district. “What do…

Jon Stewart blasts lack of real punishment for big banks’ wrongful foreclosures

On his show Tuesday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart ripped major banks for wrongfully foreclosing on a stunning number of Americans. He noted that although the banks pulled trillions of dollars out of the economy, they had no fear of law enforcement. Their only punishment was paying a…

Comedian rips Mark Sanford: South Carolina has bottomless supply of duplicitous teabags

Comedian and political commentator John Fugelsang viciously mocked Mark Sanford on Tuesday after the former Republican governor was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. In a faux South Carolina Board of Tourism message, Fugelsang proclaimed “our bottomless supply of duplicitous double-talking political teabags” as the state’s top attraction. He…

Arizona man shocked to learn annoying runny nose actually caused by a leaky brain

A man who experienced a nearly constant runny nose was actually leaking brain fluid through his nostrils, according to Fox 10 News. Joe Nagy of Arizona had suffered from a seemingly endless runny nose. Doctors figured it was just a bad case of allergies, but Nagy’s symptoms were unaffected by…

Female senators grill military brass over arrest of sexual assault prevention officer

Female senators lashed out at top military brass on Tuesday following a damning Pentagon report on sexual assault and the arrest of U.S. Air Force sex abuse prevention officer. At a Senate Armed Services Committee hearing, Sens. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), Kelly Ayotte (R-NH) and Claire McCaskill (D-MO) pressed the military…

Pat Robertson suggests security cameras will bring about the apocalypse

Television preacher and former Republican presidential candidate Pat Robertson said Tuesday on “The 700 Club” that he believes plans to expand the use of security cameras in Boston in the wake of the marathon bombing are really the heralds of the coming apocalypse, brought about by “the mark of the…

Limbaugh links Cleveland kidnappers to Obama and welfare benefits

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh on Tuesday found a convoluted way to use the CBS drama Hawaii Five-0 to link the story of three kidnapped women in Cleveland to President Barack Obama and welfare benefits. Limbaugh admitted that he had “no idea” about why Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michele…

Loophole forced mother to pay spousal support to daughter’s convicted rapist

A California mother says that she was forced to pay spousal support to her ex-husband after he raped her daughter for years. Carol Abar told KCBS that her former husband, Ed Abar, began raping her then-9-year-old daughter soon after she married him in 1991. But the daughter, who did not…

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