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Conan’s ‘Watergate’ spoof: Marco Rubio smokes a bong

In a segment aired Wednesday night on “Conan,” Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) didn’t take a swig of water during his State of the Union response: he took a hit off a bong. “He could have waited, you know?” Conan said. Co-host Andy Richter replied: “They’re trying to reach out to…

Colbert: ‘Don’t worry, Sen. Rubio. No one noticed that you gave a speech’

Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert offered his assessment of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)’s response to President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address, which didn’t go that badly, except for the fact that no one actually seems to have noticed anything that the freshman lawmaker said.…

Jon Stewart summarizes the State of the Union: Bridges are death traps!

The Daily Show host Jon Stewart on Wednesday night reviewed Barack Obama’s State of the Union address, analyzing how the President intended to save America from becoming a “Applebees-laden dystopic hellscape.” Stewart was particularly alarmed by Obama’s claim that the United States was home to 70,000 structurally deficient bridges. “Shouldn’t…

Maher to Conan: ‘I’m gay for marijuana’

Tuesday night on Conan O’Brien’s TBS show “Conan,” the host welcomed Bill Maher, host of “Real Time with Bill Maher,” for a discussion that included notes on the Pope’s resignation as well as Maher’s profession of his undying love of pot. Maher and O’Brien began by discussing the resignation of…

Colbert on GOP ‘civil war’: ‘The first thing they’ll have to fight over is who gets the Confederate flag’

With Tea Party Republicans increasingly at odds with “the manatee with a planatee,” Karl Rove, Stephen Colbert urged both sides to go all-out. “I believe Republicans cannot wuss out here,” he demanded. “Republicans need to charge ahead and take even more conservative positions in 2014.” The rift between Rove, the…

Jon Stewart: ‘Every time Dick Cheney laughs, an angel gets stabbed in the dick’

Just before President Obama’s 2013 State of the Union address, Jon Stewart found himself enraged by former Vice President Dick Cheney’s criticisms of the President aired on CBS. Among other things, Cheney called Obama’s policies flawed and said he was trying to hurt America’s reputation in the world and take…

Colbert tries to boost ‘personal BFF’ Cardinal Dolan for new papal spot

With the papalcy up for grabs come Feb. 28, Stephen Colbert did his best to give an American the “Colbert Bump,” exhorting his fans to vote for his “personal BFF,” Cardinal Timothy Dolan. “That’s Bishop Friend Forever,” he gushed about the Archbishop of the New York Diocese, which made it…

Daily Show blames Manti Te’o: Pope questioned ‘relationship with someone he talks to all the time, but has never actually met’

Like most of the world, The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart expressed shock Monday night that Pope Benedict the XVI was resigning at the end of February. “I assumed the Papacy was a lifetime commitment …like being in the mob or a correspondent on 60 Minutes. I just assumed you were…

Liberals and conservatives both wonder about ‘SNL’ unaired riff on Hagel’s Israel comments

Republican dissatisfaction with former Sen. Chuck Hagel’s (R-NE) feelings toward Israel took center stage in an unaired Saturday Night Live skit that has stirred up some questions online. The skit, which was written as an opener for the show, was performed at dress rehearsal but never made air and was…

Maher: Trump so mad at me he could barely stop ‘flinging his feces’

Friday night on “Read Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher dedicated the final segment of his “New Rules” segment to blasting Donald Trump for suing him for $5 million. “And finally,” he said, “New Rule: Now that he’s suing me for $5 million dollars because he says he’s proved…

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