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Willie Nelson plays ‘Stoned Gandalf’ in Conan’s ‘Hobbit’ spoof

Singer and songwriter Willie Nelson made a surprise appearance on Monday night’s episode of “Conan” for a quick spoof of “The Hobbit,” featuring Nelson as “Stoned Gandalf” in a hilarious audition tape for the film’s upcoming sequel. “Hey, Peter Jackson!” the 80-year-old music legand began. “My name’s Willie Nelson, and…

Colbert shares Yelp prison reviews for benefit of ‘violent criminals’ in his audience

Stephen Colbert shared some stories from the review site on Yelp Monday, he said, because he was looking out for his audience. “I know that a large segment of my audience is violent criminals,” he explained, before advising viewers on how to use his show’s new phone app while leading…

Conan mocks Bush library: ‘They did a great job’

Even though the Bush library won’t be open to the public until May 1, late night talk show host Conan O’Brien somehow managed to score an early tour, and even managed to spot the facility’s spot-on replica of the Bush oval office. In a sketch aired Monday night, Conan remarked…

Jon Stewart: Congress doesn’t care about meals-on-wheels unless it is rolling down an aisle

The Daily Show host Jon Stewart took Congress to task on Monday night for funding air traffic controllers because they were personally affected by flight delays. “We all know that if you look up Congress in the dictionary it says, ‘Do-nothing fucktards who couldn’t solve a problem if it was…

Instructional film parody teaches you about ‘Building A Human’

Take heart, residents of Edité-Frignim (or, as it’s more popularly known, “Earth”): if you’ve been itching to build your own Replicant but repli-can’t scrounge up the credits, a new video by comedians Robert Popper and Peter Serafinowicz walks you through those last few steps in putting together your own reasonable…

Colbert: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev should have been read his ‘Samantha rights’

Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert criticized President Barack Obama and the FBI for reading Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev his Miranda rights. The government should have taken a different tack, he said, and read Tsarnaev his “Samantha rights.” “Tonight I am in a great mood because…

Jon Stewart: Bush Library the Hard Rock Cafe of catastrophic policy decisions

On his show Thursday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart gleefully mocked former President George W. Bush’s new library. Noting the facility contained more than 43,000 artifacts from Bush’s presidency, Stewart remarked it was like the “Hard Rock Cafe of catastrophic policy decisions.” He also mocked the notion that…

Colbert: Mars rover’s penis doodle proves America’s ‘galactic supremacy’

On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert presented a segment called “Tiny Triumphs,” in which he celebrated the fact that the Mars rover is now drawing penises on the face of the planet, meaning that America is now treating the Earth’s nearest planetary neighbor like a…

Jon Stewart destroys Fox News for jettisoning the Bill of Rights after Boston bombing

On his show Wednesday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart illustrated how Fox News personalities feigned love of the U.S. Constitution, but quickly abandoned it when it conflicted with their opinion. In particular, Stewart observed that various Fox News hosts and pundits trashed the Bill of Rights following the…

Sen. Sessions struggles to explain Biblical basis of his anti-immigration views

Republican Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama on Monday attempted to explain why his views on immigration were not at odds with his professed religious beliefs. During a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on immigration reform, Dr. David Fleming of the Champion Forest Baptist Church in Texas noted that Leviticus 19:33-34 calls…