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Jon Stewart paraphrases Fox News: Single women are ‘selfish c**ts’

On his show Wednesday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart joked that Fox News pundits basically thought single women who voted for President Barack Obama were all “selfish c**ts.” Women’s issues correspondent Kristen Schaal collaborated the pundits’ view, telling Stewart that after she got married she stopped thinking with…

Colbert sees ‘Robo-Cheney’ running in 2072

The thought of having to deal with four more years of presidential prognostication drew a spit and a sneer from Stephen Colbert Tuesday night. “Fuck you!” he raged after seeing a CNN clip already forecasting contenders for the 2016 electoral race. “I have had it! I’m a human being, goddamn…

Jon Stewart destroys Papa John’s CEO: Should’ve pushed for single-payer

On his show Tuesday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart slammed businessmen who laid off employees after President Barack Obama was re-elected, claiming that these “job creators” were merely using Obamacare to “wriggle out of the social contract.” The late-night comedian told companies like Papa John’s to stop pretending…

Colbert admits to ‘improper relationship’ with his autobiographer

Reports that CIA Director David Petraeus had an affair with his biographer, Stephen Colbert said Monday, put a new light on a few things. “It appears that the title of Chapter 5, ‘Anaconda,’ may not refer to a ground offensive in Afghanistan,” Colbert said. “Whole different type of surge.” But…

Jon Stewart mocks Petraeus-Benghazi conspiracy: Quitting isn’t dying

On his show Monday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart lampooned conservative conspiracy theories about former CIA director David Petraeus. Some conservatives have suggested the Petraeus sex scandal was somehow connected to his upcoming testimony about the deaths of four Americans in Benghazi. But Stewart snarkily noted that Petraeus…

‘MTV executive’ spoof explains lack of music videos

A new parody video provides a harsh answer to an age-old question: Why the lack of actual music videos on MTV? It’s viewers’ fault. “I’m gonna break it down for you and every other person born before 1995 — otherwise known as Not Our Fucking Demo Anymore — so we…

SNL: Tagg Romney wants to punch America in the face

On Saturday Night Live, Mitt Romney stood on a balcony and drowned his post-election sorrows in gallons of milk, while his son Tagg expressed his anger with Americans. “I’m so very angry father, I wish I could punch America in the face,” Tagg said in the SNL skit, alluding to…

Maher says Republicans have same problem as the Beach Boys: ‘Their fans are dying’

Friday night on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher addressed the Republican Party’s staggering electoral losses in this week’s elections and mused that the party may be facing virtual extinction. Maher began the segment talking about Fox News’s alert early on election day that a single “New Black…

Jon Stewart mocks Fox New host’s ‘potted up on weed’ remark

On his show Thursday night, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart reflected on the ballot initiatives that passed on Election Day. Stewart noted that California appeared to be growing up, approving a proposition to fund education and rejecting a proposition to ban the death penalty, while Colorado and Washington state…

Fox station tells Romney supporters how to ‘beat the traffic’ to Canada

The Fox station in Oklahoma on Wednesday gave supporters of former Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney some helpful tips for fleeing the country before President Barack Obama starts his second term. In the Fox 23 “Beat the Traffic” segment on the morning after Obama won re-election, traffic reporter Jeff Brucculeri…

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