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Jon Stewart: Velveeta shortage could be buzzkill for Broncos-Seahawks Toke Bowl

Every year, Jon Stewart pointed out on Monday’s Daily Show, it seems like America runs out of just what it needs to celebrate the year’s biggest sporting event. “Unfortunately, past Super Bowls have been plagued by shortages of necessary super bowling materials,” Stewart said, rolling video of news reports on…

Maher begs America: Take a hint from ‘Duck Dynasty,’ be more cynical

Friday night on the first “Real Time” of the new year, host Bill Maher offered some New Year’s Resolutions for the United States. It’s time, he said, for America to “stop hanging onto stupid stuff long after it’s relevant just because it’s tradition,” such as Daylight Savings Time, the war…

Stephen Colbert: ‘Naughty’ Wall Street wants to be ‘spanked’ by ‘Invisible Hand’ of the market

In the latest segment of Stephen Colbert’s exclusive “Colbert Platinum Club” for wealthy viewers, the late-night host implored his wealthy viewers to purchase $50,000 diamond pacifiers. “Finally,” he said, “a product that combines two things I love: quiet babies and exploiting the Congo.” He then discussed the “froufrah brewing over…

Springsteen joins Jimmy Fallon in hilarious ‘Born to Run’ parody mocking Christie

New Jersey’s most famous son showed up on “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” to poke fun at the ongoing “Bridgegate” scandal. Bruce Springsteen joined host Jimmy Fallon to perform a parody of his iconic 1975 hit, “Born To Run,” while wearing identical costumes. “We’re stuck in Gov. Chris Christie’s Fort…

Stephen Colbert: Obama right on Afghanistan, but shouldn’t have faked his ‘war-gasm’

On last night’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert complained that the Chris Christie “flap” is “all a distraction from the real scandal: that Barack Obama is a failure.” “The facts don’t lie,” he said. “And now, at long last, those facts are backed up by some information.” After punning in a…

Doug Stanhope on raising money for atheist tornado survivor: I did it simply to be a prick

Comedian Doug Stanhope helped raise more than $100,000 for an Oklahoma family whose home had been destroyed by a tornado. But he didn’t do it out of the goodness of his heart or because he was sympathetic. He just takes pleasure in mocking the faithful. “I didn’t do it because…

Cory Booker challenges Rand Paul to traditional Festivus ‘feats of strength’ on Senate floor

Republican Senator and potential 2016 presidential candidate Rand Paul decided to celebrate “Festivus” today by participating in the traditional “airing of grievances.” The holiday originated in an episode of Seinfeld called “The Strike,” in which George Costanza’s father, Frank, describes how he became disillusioned with with the holiday season. “Many…

Stephen Colbert passionately defends bigotry of ‘backwoods Louisiana bird-murderer’

Last night, Stephen Colbert came to the defense of embattled reality television star Phil Robertson. “This is a terrible day for Americans,” Colbert said. “But admittedly, a pretty good day for ducks.” “Why did A&E A-and-axe him?” he asked. “Because this good Christian man spoke his mind to GQ about…

Obama has another encounter with Mandela memorial ‘interpreter’ on SNL cold open

The cold open on this week’s episode of Saturday Night Live featured Jay Pharoah playing President Obama at a news conference in which he addressed the “controversies” of the past week. “Obama” begins by discussing what happened at the memorial for Nelson Mandela. “I felt like Lemony Snicket,” he said.…

Jimmy Kimmel presents Fox News’ version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’

Thursday night on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” the host presented the Fox News Channel version of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Kimmel was making light of Fox anchor Megyn Kelly’s recent remarks that Santa Claus is indubitably and indisputably a white man. Kimmel said, “Fortunately they had a panel of experts to…

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