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Colbert apologizes to bovine transgender community for pink slime line

Stephen Colbert offered a rare apology – or in his words, a Colbology – Tuesday evening for calling “pink slime” a member of the “transgender community” the previous evening. “Apparently, some in the Twittersphere has accused me of being transphobic,” Colbert noticed. “So I just want to get out in…

Jon Stewart pummels Sarah Palin for ‘infiltrating’ the Today Show with her Jesus fish earrings

Daily Show host Jon Stewart on Tuesday night blasted former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin for nearly six minutes, mocking her for trying to make her appearance on NBC’s Today Show seem courageous. Palin had told Breitbart.com that she was “going rogue and infiltrating some turf” by appearing on the show.…

Parody: Pornstars organize ‘world’s largest wank out’ against Santorum

Upset that Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has vowed to crack down on Internet pornography if elected, pornstars have organized a “wank out” on May 1. The pornstars warned that without easily available pornography, people will be forced to use Facebook photos or possibly even their own imagination to masturbate.…

80-year-old woman lands plane after husband collapses

An 80-year-old woman in Door County, California successfully landed a small plane after her husband collapsed and died Monday evening, according to WLUK-TV. The woman called into Door County’s Dispatch Center after 5 PM to report her traumatic situation onboard their twin engine Cessna airplane after her husband passed out.…

Colbert: Pink slime is ‘a member of the transgender community’

Stephen Colbert addressed the crackdown on pink slime Monday evening, describing it as “delicious wholesome meal” that is used to “form the Hamburger Helper.” “Oh, pink slime is bad, but green slime is good to dump on our children?” the Comedy Central host said. “Pink slime is nothing more than…

Jon Stewart lampoons tepid endorsements of Romney

Daily Show host Jon Stewart on Monday night analyzed the less-than-enthusiastic endorsements of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. “Look, Romney is going to be the nominee. Everybody’s decided. They’re all getting behind him. What they haven’t really decided is why,” he said. Many Republicans have offered mild endorsements of the…

Letterman reads ‘Top 10 other things Rick Santorum thinks are bullsh*t’

When former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum (R) told a reporter that his characterization of a recent speech was “bullshit,” he probably had to see this coming. CBS variety show host David Letterman read off a list Thursday night of the “Top 10 other things Rick Santorum thinks are bullshit.” Not…

Colbert reveals his lottery-winning secrets

On Thursday night’s “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took on the topic of the Mega Millions Lottery prize, which is currently up to $540 million. Colbert claims to hold the winning ticket, having used techniques he learned from watching “Good Morning America” to choose his numbers. “Good Morning America”…

Stephen Colbert won’t obey the health care edicts of Pres. ‘Baroccoli Obama’

If there are two things Stephen Colbert has learned from television news over the last couple of days, it’s that the individual mandate is dead and that the health care debate is ultimately all about broccoli. The fact that neither of these things is true matters not a whit, apparently,…

Stewart: ‘Mr. President, we can hear you capitulating to the Russians’

On Wednesday night’s edition of The Daily Show, host Jon Stewart played back the now-infamous “hot mic” incident from President Obama’s trip to South Korea for a nuclear summit earlier this week. While Republicans were quick to attack the president for what they perceived as electoral hubris, Stewart sees another…

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