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‘Buzzkill of science’ Neil deGrasse Tyson explains why zombies are purely fantasy

Have no fear of the coming zombie apocalypse, astrophysicist and “buzzkill of science” Neil deGrasse Tyson told America on Thursday night’s The Daily Show. It’s not happening. Zombies apparently defy the known laws of physics and physiology. “Without a functioning circulatory system distributing oxygenated blood, a zombie’s muscles would succumb…

Colbert: Richard Cohen isn’t racist because real racists actually throw up on interracial couples

On Wednesday night, in an edition of his recurring segment “Blood in the Water,” Stephen Colbert defended embattled Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen. “Folks, this week’s helpless chum is Washington Post columnist and homeless Col. Sanders Richard Cohen,” Colbert said. Cohen found himself in hot water earlier this week after…

Jon Stewart mocks ‘pile of sh-t’ Time magazine for Chris Christie cover story

Jon Stewart came to the defense of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) on The Daily Show on Monday, using Time magazine’s own reasoning to skewer its cover story calling Christie “the elephant in the room.” “Oh, I get it, ’cause he’s large — he’s a large man,” Stewart said…

John Fugelsang: Sarah Palin is the ‘Jar Jar Binks’ of the GOP

In an appearance on “The Ed Show” on MSNBC, comedian and former Current TV host John Fugelsang poked fun at former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s new book tour and compared her to the much-mocked character Jar Jar Binks from George Lucas’ “Star Wars” prequel, “Episode I: The Phantom Menace.” Palin…

Maher: U.S. Christians have traded Christ’s values for philosophy of ‘F*ck off and die’

Friday night on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher asked when Christians in this country swapped Christ’s message of love and tolerance for a philosophy of “F*ck off and die” toward people who aren’t like them. Showing an image of Congressional Republicans captioned “Cheap of faith,” Maher said,…

Colbert: Ms. Marvel comic reboot as Muslim teen another example of ‘Sharia creep’

Stephen Colbert lamented the rebooted Ms. Marvel comic book series as the latest example in the impending Muslim takeover of the United States. “Ladies and gentlemen, America has lost another battle in the culture war, which is surprising because we’ve got all the guns,” said Colbert on Wednesday night’s broadcast…

Colbert: Study on gay insect sex shows human homosexuality the result of an ‘attraccident’

Stephen Colbert said a recent report about insects having “accidental” homosexual relations had caused him to rethink his views on human homosexuality. Scientists have observed that up to 75 percent of insects engage in same-sex interactions, but a recent study found that those relationships may be accidental. “That’s a relief,”…

Colbert writer sets up Twitter account to mock Fox News ‘sock puppets’

A staff writer for The Colbert Report has come up with a hilarious way to mock Fox News efforts to counter negative online commentary. According to a new book by NPR media writer David Folkenflik, the network’s public relations team set up phony accounts to fill comment sections of negative…

Maher’s advice to GOP: Drop your guns and learn to love pot

Friday night on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher offered a very simple tip to the Republican Party on their outreach efforts. Particularly when it comes to young people, Maher said, the GOP needs to realize that pot deregulation is actually a fundamentally conservative cause and that Millennials…

Colbert eviscerates Nevada Assemblyman’s Jim Wheeler’s ‘explaination’ for pro-slavery comments

Last night, Stephen Colbert praised Nevada Assemblyman Jim Wheeler for staying true to his constituents. Earlier this week, Wheeler responded to a criticism that “he was so weak, if they wanted him to, he would vote for slavery,” by saying “if the citizens of District 39 wanted to make slavery…

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