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Dumb conservative dudes weigh in on Hobby Lobby, remind us they don’t know how contraception works

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, June 30, 2014 14:06 EDT
 
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Ladies, I may not know how female anatomy works, but I figure that you can only get pregnant if you like sex too much. No, put that biology book down. Did you notice I’m a man? I don’t need to know how this stuff works to opine about it.

I quickly finished my post at Slate about why I think the Hobby Lobby decision is more of an own goal than the Christian right realizes—in sum, they didn’t meaningfully restrict contraception access but did expose how single-mindedly prudish they are—and sure enough, Christian right figures are already proving the point. Media Matters grabbed a few immediate reactions from male conservatives that demonstrate the fear and loathing, coupled with a strong dose of serious ignorance, towards female sexuality that underpins this decision. Needless to say, I’m beginning to wonder if the reason so many conservative men don’t take women’s contraception needs seriously is their primary form of birth control is forgetting what hole to stick it in to make baby.

Since even monogamous couples—even very long-married monogamous couples—use contraception, it’s telling that someone like Erickson is coupling contraception use with wanton and out of control sexuality. If you’re 40 years old and you have sex with your spouse of 15 years after you put the kids to bed, you are a crazed out of control slut who needs some “consequences” to force you to cut it out, I guess. I don’t know if guys like Erickson are just massive hypocrites or if their sex lives really are so pathetic that even a quickie between long-married spouses before the late show makes him writhe with bitter jealousy, but man, he has to know that the latter is what people are assuming, right? Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with having wanton sex with multiple partners, but it’s fascinating that even long-married couples who want to have sex with each other are on his shit list of bad, oversexed people.

Of course, the single-minded obsession with Sandra Fluke continues, which again strongly suggests that the motivation behind all this is to punish women for being pretty, young, single and not sexually available to angry right wing dudes.

This doesn’t make a lot of sense, in the reality-based world, of course, since this decision had nothing to do with whether Target pharmacies stocked prescription birth control or not. But that’s not what this is about. For one thing, a lot of the men who push the “just buy it at Target!” line don’t really understand that the IUD or birth control pill is not available on the shelf at Target. Those who do, however, are subtly trying to imply that contraception  should only be available as a consumer purchase item, something you buy occasionally but isn’t a normal part of your daily routine. Again, it’s about implying that if you have sex more frequently than once or twice a year, then you must be some kind of sex-crazed monster who needs to be brought in line for reasons.

Of course, another possibility is that all these guys really don’t know how female biology works. Maybe they believe that women only ovulate once a year. Maybe they don’t know that you can get pregnant from only one sexual encounter. They seem to think of contraception as some kind of exotic sexual item, like  a butt plug or handcuffs, something you only incorporate once in awhile instead of every single time. I have no idea. But it’s fascinating how stupid and ignorant they sound, and how they’ll never know it because they foolishly believe being male makes them a lot smarter than they actually are.

Update: More from Erickson.

 

Between his ready assumption that humans were only meant to copulate a handful of times over a lifetime and this tweet, I’m really beginning to feel sorry for his wife. Then again, if you found yourself in a marriage with this guy, you’d probably pray that he thinks sex is supposed to be like surgery, extremely rare and over quickly if you can help it.

Update #2: I don’t get men who are proud to be known as someone who thinks a dozen times is a solid top limit for the number of sexual encounters a couple should have over a lifetime together.

To be clear, Elias Isquith is reporting, not actually agreeing.

Conservatives bring their D game to culture war whining about World Cup

By Amanda Marcotte
Friday, June 27, 2014 8:02 EDT

Can you correctly identify what this is? If so, you are too learned to read an Ann Coulter column. World Cup is fucking exciting this year, isn’t it? It’s really hard not to blow off work to watch games, isn’t it? Almost enough to make you forget that enjoyment of soccer as a professional sport is still considered “culture war” silliness that is supposed to divide grouchy conservatives who automatically assume anything they don’t understand…

 

It’s the 21st century, and yet here we are arguing the “legitimacy” of black voters

By Amanda Marcotte
Thursday, June 26, 2014 13:05 EDT

The Tea Party still thinks it’s debatable whether or not to let all Americans do this. It’s been fascinating watching the total meltdown on the right over the issue of how to feel about Republican Sen. Thad Cochran beat Tea Party challenger Chris McDaniel in a primary runoff. This may…

 

Skinny jeans are here to destroy you by insisting you be slightly less racist

By Amanda Marcotte
Wednesday, June 25, 2014 10:14 EDT

Stop oppressing conservatives, denim-wearing hooligans! Via Whiskey Fire and Lawyers Guns and Money comes this hilarious tantrum thrown by oversized baby Erick Erickson over the Washington Vile Racial Slurs. Never one to decide a hill is too small to die on, Erickson has decided to dump buckets of tantrum tears…

 

Anti-feminists are outraged that feminists argue you should only kiss people who are kissing you back

By Amanda Marcotte
Tuesday, June 24, 2014 11:47 EDT

Rape apologists are all up in arms over new efforts to clarify the definition of “consent” in California to make it harder for rapists to operate without any pushback. Cathy Young, professional female misogynist and sister-punisher, is all pissed off because state Senator Kevin De Leon is pushing a bill that…

 

Does your indignation meet George Will’s approval? A test to find out.

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, June 23, 2014 10:17 EDT

Every time I think George Will has reached a new level of lacking self-awareness, I have to check myself and remember, no, he’s always been this big of an obtuse fathead. But truly, this quote during his indignant, pouty-pants defense of his column where he tried to shame rape victims…

 

Orange Is The New Black has a pitch-perfect characterization of a manipulative abuser

By Amanda Marcotte
Thursday, June 19, 2014 12:56 EDT

This entire review is spoilers. Just accept it. I don’t think I’ve really written on Orange Is The New Black, due to the glut of think pieces on it last year, but I just finished watching the second season last night and I have some thoughts about it. I particularly…

 

Dr. Oz gets lambasted by Claire McCaskill. Now onto the rest of the weight-loss fraudsters.

By Amanda Marcotte
Wednesday, June 18, 2014 10:49 EDT

Yea! Let’s pretend that all I needed to do was take the stairs once in awhile! I cannot tell you how thrilled I was yesterday when Sen. Claire McCaskill finally got Dr. Oz in her sights. Dr. Oz may seem like a fun guy who just is overly obsessed with…

 

Is this man trying to gaslight the Supreme Court?

By Amanda Marcotte
Tuesday, June 17, 2014 11:50 EDT

Stop saying I’m threatening you, or you’ll be sorry! I can’t say I thought I’d see a day when an abuser would try to the favorite psychological tactic of abusers—gaslighting—in an argument in front of the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court agreed to hear the case of Anthony Elonis on…

 

Game of Thrones ends its season asking hard questions about identity

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, June 16, 2014 11:27 EDT

As per usual when I do this, this isn’t a recap of Game of Thrones and I recommend reading Scott Kaufman instead for that. Instead, I want to talk about themes. In an episode called “The Children”, the theme of being a child and having a parent was clearly a…

 
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