Home » Archives » Pandagon (Page 517)

Jonah Goldberg Is A Serial Rapist

By Jesse Taylor
Tuesday, July 8, 2008 15:22 EDT

imageJonah Goldberg calls Barack Obama a 21st century slavemaster. Actually, to be fair, he uses a clever allegory that requires much hyperventilating on my part to reach my totally unreasonable point:

There’s a weird irony at work when Sen. Barack Obama, the black presidential candidate who will allegedly scrub the stain of racism from the nation, vows to run afoul of the constitutional amendment that abolished slavery.

For those who don’t remember, the 13th Amendment says: “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime … shall exist within the United States.”

See? I can’t believe I’m…taking…this…

He just called a man, let alone a black man, a slavedriver. Does this mean that Barack Obama’s newest middle name is “Massa”?

There is one benefit to Goldberg’s idiotic penchant for selling every point he makes with the most offensively wrong analogy possible – he’s about 75% of the way towards Ann Coulter’s flameout into utter irrelevance, and he’s only published one book. This accusation is because Barack Obama proposes a program of national service. And after building up a case for national service as slavery that had never been done with such care, what does he end the piece with?

No, national service isn’t slavery.

The main reason he has to admit this is because he lapses awkwardly into a discussion of how both John McCain and George W. Bush support such programs, meaning that we’re either headed for a nation run by plantation bosses who want us to fetch the national lemonade, or his actual point – that national service offends his ethic of receiving ideological welfare for his hard work of being born and not drinking industrial cleaner instead of Gatorade. Really, dude, stop storing them next to each other.

And no, Jonah Goldberg isn’t a serial rapist. See how fun that is?

Marky Welby, Medical Rocktor

By Jesse Taylor

One of the joys of being an underinsured/sometimes uninsured, but healthy, 25-year-old: every time new insurance asks me for a family doctor or a shot record, I don’t have A and I have no idea how to get B. I’m the asshole who shows up and continually has to ask if it’s okay if I don’t know answers to any number of questions about my medical history, but I’m sure I got all my shots…


Fundies probably don’t do it better

By Amanda Marcotte

One of the most interesting parts of this review by Louis Bayard of Dagmar Herzog’s book Sex in Crisis is an examination of how fundamentalists have resorted to using promises of the best sex you could ever imagine if you just wait until you’re married to do it. Bayard suggests…


Mega Science For Choads Debunking

By Amanda Marcotte

I wish Slate would let me embed their frigging videos, because I’d love to embed the one they have up summarizing a series up by Amanda Schaffer examining all the non-science masquerading as science that claims to find vast differences between men and women’s brains, differences that always point to…


Netroots Nation Panel!

By Jesse Taylor

Amanda’s post just reminded me, but I’ll be moderating a panel at Netroots Nation called Different Tones and Wider Nets, with a panel of stars, from the moderately shrill to the intensely shrill: Amanda Marcotte, Some Shitty Site Atrios, Eschaton Digby, Hullabaloo Rude Pundit, Rude Pundit Kevin Drum, Political Animal…


Campus Progress panel

By Amanda Marcotte

I’m currently in D.C. getting ready for a presentation tomorrow on reproductive justice for the Campus Progress National Conference. If you’re coming to the convention, I’d be much obliged if you could come see our talk. Should be some interesting stuff, and I definitely like doing presentations for the young,…


And From The Ashes Of Destruction…

By Jesse Taylor

Please please please please please goddammit please. If there’s a way that Carly Fiorina and Mitt Romney can get melded together in some tragic-yet-incredible explosion to form the World’s Worst Running Mate, I heartily support it. Perhaps in some event that also consumes the Crocs factory whole, leaving its owner…


Obvious Limitations

By Jesse Taylor

Matt talks about term limits: It really does seem a bit odd that a mayor with a 67 percent approval rating should be forced from office because of a term limits law. I suppose I understand the theory that presidential-level term limits serve as a check on tyranny, but there…


This Is The Movement That Won The Presidency…Twice

By Jesse Taylor
Monday, July 7, 2008 21:56 EDT

Redstate really is easy pickings, Jesus. From the “Obama will pawn the silverware” files: This guy will sell anything. So much for the new politics. Obama’s campaign is more motivated by money and fundraising than any campaign in recent memory. One wonders if this will continue into an Obama presidency.…


Such An Uncle Sam

By Jesse Taylor

I’m supposed to be shocked by the image in this post, according to David Brody. I’m more impressed that they even changed the skin color on the hand, myself. Let’s be clear here – anti-choicers are always going to paint every Democrat with even the slightest pro-choice inclinations as someone…