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A Modest Proposal

By Jesse Taylor
Thursday, July 3, 2008 17:45 EDT
 

I hereby challenge any clear-eyed, level-headed conservative blogger who really knows what torture is to draw up a list of things that aren’t torture when done to brown people, and have them done to them by trained professionals. After all, waterboarding, like so many other things, is no more than discomfort trumped up as “torture” by pansy liberals.

This is the best part of the post, by the way:

I can see agreeing to waterboarding for an article like the one Hitchens was writing.

On the other hand, crippling electric shocks, probably not.

Just like racism isn’t racism unless someone’s hanging from a tree, torture isn’t really torture unless you can’t walk or use the bathroom voluntarily afterward. You get the sense that if the Malkin crowd had written the Constitution, the Bill of Rights would only have three amendments:

  • More God.
  • More guns.
  • Fuck you.

Helpful!

By Jesse Taylor

The Wall Street Journal runs an opinion piece declaring that Obama should embrace his Muslim heritage. I’m kind of conflicted about this. On the one hand, Obama should embrace the Muslim community and make clear that the smear here is his alleged dishonesty rather than his alleged faith in Islam. On the other hand, you’d have to be a complete fucking idiot to believe that this is why the WSJ Muslim published Obama this Jim…

 

Protect Your Vital Bodily Fluids

By Jesse Taylor

Thieves are stealing more ATMs. I personally blame Barbershop. I have noticed that there are tons more stories about things being stolen – manhole covers, copper pipes, catalytic converters, etc. Are we falling into some sort of kleptocracy? And if so, when will we admit it’s Barack Obama’s doing?…

 

What Would You Do If I Sang Out Of Tune?

By Jesse Taylor

You know, when liberals say that the media is in the tank for McCain, it’s not because we’re trying to create some reverse ratfuck scenario in order to improve our fortunes. It’s because things like the Note exist. Here comes the McCain comeback — again. A bulldog is in place,…

 

Save the wingnuts from existential crisis

By Amanda Marcotte

Ken Blackwell, who did his part to help get war-mongerer George Bush back in office in 2004, has a maudlin article about life up at Townhall. No, not Iraqi life, you fools. We can’t imagine that he’s started caring about the lives of people who have nerve endings to feel…

 

That little Council for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships idea…

By pams

My late, but not forgotten lengthy weigh-in on this topic. I’ve had so little time to actually write anything of consequence this week, but I didn’t want to toss off something frivilous about Barack Obama’s speech about implementing a Council for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships if elected. The thumbnail purpose…

 

Will The Honorable Glibertarian Please Rise?

By Jesse Taylor

When I was applying to law schools, I got a couple of letters from the University of Tennessee talking about all they had to offer. Sadly, Professor Glenn Reynolds was not on the list of items that would me me a leader of tomorrow, but I was always sort of…

 

Veepstakes!

By Jesse Taylor

Democrats suggested today that Senator John McCain may choose Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane of Hazzard County, Georgia, as his running mate. Coltrane, despite being a fictional character from a nonexistent county, is widely discussed in Democratic circles as being a tough on crime conservative with a long record of executive…

 

Bamboo Review: We’re Never Going To Stop Talking About This Movie

By Jesse Taylor

You cannot escape motherfucking Wall-E. He is in your dreams. He is your dreams. Well, not really, but I wanted to approach yet another facet of this movie. And no, it’s not the fact that Wall-E is a less verbose Johnny 5. It’s the conservative caterwauling about it. I’d go…

 

PUMAs, swiftboated and not

By Amanda Marcotte

So, that PUMA thing blew up. Naturally, people are casting around looking for any reason to suggest that the stereotype—hysterical women too dumb to know what’s good for them voting for McCain out of spite because Clinton lost, thereby inadvertently proving that women are probably too stupid to vote, much…

 
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