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Why Won’t Obama Just Give Them A Sex Act To Impeach Him Over?

By Amanda Marcotte
Wednesday, January 8, 2014 11:36 EDT
sex scandal

Via Digby. As with Bill Clinton before him, conservatives have been casting around for some kind of reason that Obama needs to be impeached since roughly the beginning of his administration, and, as with Bill Clinton before him, the desperate digging has only increased during the second term. As with Clinton, most of the attempts are laughable, amounting to nothing more than empty code words that conservatives will hope somehow snowball into an actual scandal. With Clinton, it was “Whitewater” and with Obama it’s “Benghazi”, and with both it’s idiotic. But they got lucky with Clinton, in that he got a blow job, and blow jobs are something that are both real and easily understood by the American public. Obama, being obstinate, has not provided the right with some adulterous sex that is guaranteed to dominate the news cycle and result in the pretext for an impeachment. The desperation for that has grown to the point where someone just decided to make one up.

obama mistress













The “mistress”? Socialism. No, really. It’s uploaded to some financial firm that is clearly being run by idiots, so do not invest with them.

It seems like a waste of time to even try to analyze how one would decide that Obama is having a love affair with socialism that involves metaphorically fucking socialism. It’s clearly just a pure expression of the combination of looniness, barely sublimated racism and classism, and sexual obsession that characterizes right wing America. But what is really sad here is how badly they want that sex scandal. Conservatives may scream “Benghazi!” morning, noon, and night, but obviously, their heart isn’t in it. Like a man married to a woman he no longer loves who is going through the motions while dreaming only of his mistress, conservatives try to pretend they think this Benghazi thing has legs but really, in their hearts, just want Obama to be caught with his pants down. Then they could really go to town, doing what they do best: Conducting a hypocritical bout of posturing like they’re the protectors of morality because they think sex is icky.

Yes, doing that would inevitably mean bleeding out a bunch of their own politicians whose own adulteries would be dutifully reported by the press. Yes, it would probably, as it did Clinton, start to make people like Obama more because they would start to consider how no one has a sex life that could withstand this kind of scrutiny. None of that matters. This is an emotional thing for the right. They crave the opportunity to make hay out of an enemy’s sex life, and they don’t care about the consequences. That Obama won’t give them a chance is clearly painful. So painful that they’ve started to create fan fiction pretending that they get to have the sex scandal they almost surely will never get to have.

Conservatives Don’t Want To Talk About Income Inequality. That’s Why We Should.

By Amanda Marcotte
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 12:45 EDT

Do you believe people don’t work because they’re lazy? Why not offer them a job and prove it? Jesse Myerson wrote a great piece in the Rolling Stone rolling out five bold ideas for reducing—permanently—the very serious problem of income inequality. As he says in the piece, while some of these ideas may seem outrageous, they aren’t new or untried ideas. In some places, such as Alaska, things like having the government buy up a…


David Brooks Has So Much To Be Ashamed Of, And Doesn’t Even Know It

By Amanda Marcotte
Friday, January 3, 2014 13:57 EDT

David Brooks wrote a column today that was so stupid that I think it can actually be considered an own goal, where he literally—no joke—argues that because his own experiences with marijuana smoking suggested to him that it’s not the best use of your time, other people should go to…


The Good Side of Political Polarization

By Amanda Marcotte
Thursday, January 2, 2014 12:21 EDT

Paul Waldman at the American Prospect is projecting what he thinks the big trend in American politics is going to be, and he predicts more polarization: One trend I do think will shape people’s lives this year and in years to come is the increasing divergence between the places where…


Fox News Says: Don’t Be Fat, But Don’t Try Not To Be Fat

By Amanda Marcotte
Tuesday, December 31, 2013 10:00 EDT

David Neiwert found a hilarious example of how the knee-jerk rejection of anything considered “liberal” leads to pure idiocy on Fox News. Pundits did an entire segment freaking out because this plus-size modeling Facebook page suggested that Mattel make a plus-size Barbie, with a little photoshopping to show how it…


Why Are Republicans Rejecting Basic Biology Even More?

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, December 30, 2013 14:20 EDT

I wish I could say this news is surprising, but it’s really not (via): Over the last four years, the percentage of Democrats who said they believe in evolution has risen by three points, from 64 percent to 67 percent. But the percentage of Republicans who believe in the theory…


Keep the Saturn in Saturnalia

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, December 23, 2013 10:23 EDT

The “war on Christmas” once again proves to not exist, but continues to be an imaginary war being used to justify actual abuse of non-Christians and anyone who might believe that Christians should not be upheld as superior to everyone else. The latest example happened in South Jersey. Freedom From…


Why Do People Bag On Cats So Much?

By Amanda Marcotte
Friday, December 20, 2013 14:21 EDT

Molly doesn’t love people. Just Xbox. Rebecca Watson has a great post up that, while purporting to be an examination of the cat vs. dog debate, is a subtle lesson in how to think critically about scientific studies, especially those that have pat “lessons” that just so happen to appeal…


Conservatives Should Be Thanking A&E For Suspending “Duck Dynasty”

By Amanda Marcotte
Thursday, December 19, 2013 10:18 EDT

With a plodding inevitability, the ignorant screams of “free speech” are coming from the usual suspects in the wake of Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty getting suspended for his homophobic remarks in GQ. (He was also mind-bogglingly racist, but for some reason, that hasn’t been as sticky a story, maybe…


The Imaginary “War On Christmas” Inspires Real Violence

By Amanda Marcotte
Wednesday, December 18, 2013 12:27 EDT

The “war on Christmas” that Fox News pretends is going on every year is one of those things that liberals, I think, feel widely guilty about watching with fascination, even to mock it. Like we fear that we’re feeding the beast somehow by even acknowledging  the stunningly dishonest hysteria about…