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MO company offering adorable ladies pocket shotguns because we’re screwed as a country

By TBogg
Friday, August 29, 2014 15:47 EDT
 
heizerdefense_screenshot

What the people of St. Louis County need right now is peace. Peace, reconciliation, healing, greater understanding between the races leading to a brighter future for their children where they will judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin.  Where the lamb shall lie down with lion and peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars.

Unfortunately St. Louis County is located in Missouri which is located in the United States of America which is the NRA’s world: we just try to live here, mainly by ducking a lot because our neighbor is cleaning his gun again and that always ends well.

So, in a time of militarized police and kids starting out younger and younger getting their first Uzi kill before they receive their first kiss, it would make sense to think that now is the perfect moment to roll out a new line of pocket-sized shotguns for those special intimate times when a simple squirt of pepper-spray doesn’t create a wide enough pattern of destruction and pain.

Pevely-based Heizer Defense and St. Louis-based DoubleTap Defense are pushing new guns — sharing a common, and somewhat contentious, ancestry — targeting the highly competitive concealed carry market.

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Among Heizer’s offerings is a series of brightly colored guns — called the Hedy Jane model — targeting female shooters. There’s even a jewelry line in matching green, blue, pink and purple hues.

And the Pocket Shotgun, which sells for around $400, is about to be followed by a Pocket AR — chambered in the same .223 caliber common in AR-15 rifles.

The expectation is that owners of the popular rifles will be drawn to these small handguns, made of stainless steel, that can shoot the same ammo.

“It’s a perfect companion,” said Eric Polkis, Heizer’s director of sales. “It’s very unique. You can’t really compare it to anything else that’s out there.”

While you’re letting that soak in — like blood into asphalt — here is a picture of the ladies model which will shoot a standard .410 shotgun shell. Please note the lovely styling job, surrounded by pearls and spent cartridges.

Image Heizer Defense

Image Heizer Defense

Tell us more:

Charles Heizer, founder of the 52-year-old aerospace firm, sees the move into gun manufacturing as a natural one for a company that makes aircraft parts, including wing panels, built to exacting tolerances.

“We’ve been thinking about it for a long time,” Heizer said. “Aerospace is so up and down.”

Whereas random and accidental shootings are a growth industry in America — along with child-sized coffin manufacturing, –so why not catch the  wave of blood?

And what better way to do that than by providing women with a pint-sized  shotgun that they can easily  toss into their purse along with their sunglasses, loose change, hand cream, tissues, coupons, and those  lady things that usually  keep men out of their wives purses.  But kids? Kids love pawing through purses looking for Tic-Tacs, loose change and now, oooo look!: a Hello Kitty-colored  shotgun! What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, yeah. This. But, you know: freedom, 2nd Amendment, tree of liberty watered with the blood of tyrants toddlers. Etc.

Besides, it’s what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.

Particularly in four kicky colors if you need to liven up that little black dress that works for both a night out on the town dancing or for an impromptu child’s funeral.

Matching jewelry extra…

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