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Huckabee: Dems keep ladies in their voter harem by feeding their whore pill addiction

By TBogg
Thursday, January 23, 2014 15:06 EDT
 
birthcontrol

Good news ladies!

God-bothering huckster  (who is not Rick Santorum)  and perennial presidential nominee runner-up (who is still not Rick Santorum) Mike Huckabee has your back, or maybe in this case your front, in the Democrat’s War on Women. Yes, it is the Democrats War on Women, not like you have heard. It seems that the Democrats are cynically getting you hooked on birth control (whore pills, harlot heroin, slut Pez) in order to get your vote and probably also into your pants where they will do things … bad things … sex-type  things. Taking a lesson from  the same business model that drug dealers use, the Democrats will make Obamacare give you your first taste of sweet sexual freedom so that you can ride the man-hog with impunity and after that you will come back for more sex drugs …which will also be free.  Actually this isn’t a very good business model which is probably why America is infinty bajillion dollars in debt but, as the Congressional Budget Office always says: YOLO!

Here, let Mike Huckabee sexsplain how the Democrats are enslaving you in their Bunny Ranch Open All Night Sex Harem:

“I think it’s time Republicans no longer accept listening to the Democrats talk about a ‘war on women,’” Huckabee said during a speech at the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting in Washington. “The fact is the Republicans don’t have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender.”

By “gender” Mike Huckabee means “vagina” but he can’t say that word because it isn’t in the Bible and therefore, to say it out loud , would cause Jesus to turn his tongue into a snake of fire or some kind of messed-up shit like that because Jesus is twisted that way. Therefore: gender = your needy voracious vagina.

Please continue Governor:

Huckabee said Democrats tell women “they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government.”

So there you have it. Democrats know that the ladies would like to be sexing and succubusing the shit out of men 24/7 because of their out of control “libido” but  the gals also don’t want to be pooping out a baby every nine months. So Democrats will give women free birth control in exchange for their votes in much the same way that they give the blacks free Obamaphones. If you are a black lady, check your mailbox, you may have won twice!

We are not sure why Republicans are against women having sex that is not for the making of babies (actually, we do) other than the fact that the Democrats seem to have thought of it first and called dibs of the care and feeding of lady vaginas,  but we think it is because the GOP still has trouble with the V-word, and it is too late for them because the Democrats own the ladies vote and now America will probably end with both a bang and a whimper.

Of sweet release…

 

 

The Dirt Devil made me do it

By TBogg
Wednesday, January 22, 2014 19:52 EDT

Submitted for your approval on the 41st anniversary of Roe v Wade, we give you the latest anti-choice missive from the fertile but unploughed mind of Kathryn Jean Lopez: It is said that K-Lo’s mind is a rocky place where an intelligent thought may find no purchase… Also, too: First runner up to K-Lo is Rep. Vicky Hartzler (R-MO): Hartzler asserted that if abortion hadn’t been legalized, “perhaps we would have had a cure for…

 

Sarah Palin whitesplains the meaning of MLK Day to that black guy in the White House

By TBogg
Monday, January 20, 2014 17:38 EDT

Word-twerking reality show spokesmodel Sarah Palin woke up this morning and discovered that it was Martin Luther King Day, which she thinks is like Christmas to black people, and, since she forgot to buy presents,  she decided to give The Gift of Advice to President Barack Obama by explaining to…

 

I love you but I have chosen the End Times

By TBogg

There are few things in this world that the American Christian Right loves more than Israel. Depending upon the season, they are consumed with being verbally crucified every time a cashier at Subway wishes them “Happy Holdays!” instead of “Merry Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season!” or with…

 

Hillary Clinton will be your new Lady President on Monday.

By TBogg
Friday, January 17, 2014 16:15 EDT

You’ve probably been busy with lots of important stuff lately  (reading blogs at work, ignoring your New Year’s resolutions, watching American Idol, convincing yourself that life isn’t a meaningless and empty void of despair even though you wake up sobbing every morning, making cupcakes … stuff like that) so you…

 

Thursday Night Once In A Full Moon Basset Blogging

By TBogg
Thursday, January 16, 2014 21:41 EDT

As has been pointed out many times in comments, there has been a dearth of hot-basset-doing-nothing-action on the blog. Yes, it is true. I stopped posting pictures mainly because it had reached the point where every picture of Fenway & Wembley looked like a similar picture that had already been…

 

Trayvon Martin died for your knockout game sins

By TBogg

WND’s Jack Cashill, who has made what passes for a career by claiming that Barack Obama’s Dreams of My Father was actually written by Bill Ayers because everyone knows that black people don’t write books (no duh), is back to explain that Trayvon Martin was actually playing the knockout game…

 

War On Women Party to roll out exciting new 2014 rapey candidate model

By TBogg
Wednesday, January 15, 2014 17:13 EDT

From the wonderful party that tried to give  us “We Forcefully Transvaginal Wand You Because We Care” and the state that almost gave us sodomy-hater Ken Cuccinelli, please give a warm welcome to Virginia state Sen. Richard H. “Dick, Obviously” Black who will be playing the role of Todd Akin…

 

Muslim U.S. President to team up with gays to make us go extinct just like the gay dinosaurs

By TBogg
Tuesday, January 14, 2014 14:35 EDT

The  Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, who is not the Tony Perkins who was in that whimsical movie about living with his mom although the similarities are striking, was recently on one of those radio shows that small government conservatives listen to while waiting for the US postman to deliver…

 

Wild in the tweets

By TBogg
Monday, January 13, 2014 20:16 EDT

Because I live on the west coast and am therefore three hours behind whatever the east coast sets as The Daily Agenda , I often open my browser in the morning fully girded for whatever fresh hell the day has already brought forth or for whatever outrage has been ginned…

 
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