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Matt Lewis finally has an original thought and it’s a dumb one

By TBogg
Tuesday, November 19, 2013 12:00 EDT

Little noticed Matt Lewis, who writes for Tucker Carlson’s George Zimmerman Fan-Fic website, has been a conservative writer on the intertubes for years during which he has never expressed an opinion that wasn’t carefully modulated in such a way that he couldn’t land a job working for Fred Hiatt or maybe a guest-spot op-ed in hotel cartoon newspaper USA Today. While  Red State’s Erick Erick Erick Son Of Erick Erickson’s Son has been dishing out meth-crusted red meat to the slavering yahoo hordes and landing himself gigs at CNN and Fox, all Lewis has ever had to offer is a jelly jar of tepid tap water which gets him a coveted spot at Bloggingheads, which is internet TV for people who have lost the will to live.

But today, somebody must have sugared up Matt’s All-Bran with crack because he is raising his voice in a controlled, but moderately frustrated, way at Mary Cheney for slamming Liz Cheney’s dick in the door ant maybe ruining her chances of carpetbagging some prime US Senate real estate.

Shut your gosh-darned pie-hole, Lesbian Mary Cheney!:

The recent fight between the Cheney sisters raises an obvious debate over gay marriage, but there are plenty of people writing about that. And, besides, I can’t help being obsessed with a competing narrative — what this says about family loyalty.

Let’s begin with loyalty to one’s blood relatives — and the fact that Mary Cheney apparently has none. Let’s all let Mary in on a little secret here: YOUR SISTER IS PANDERING. That’s right, once safely ensconced in the U.S. Senate, Liz Cheney will probably “evolve” on the issue.

But Liz is also attempting to actually win a U.S. Senate seat in Wyoming. And to make that happen, Mary, Liz may have to say some things you won’t like. This is a short-term inconvenience. (When you run, Mary, maybe Liz will similarly bite her tongue?) But she needs you now. And you, Mary, are messing that up.

When people talk about the breakdown of the traditional family unit, I suppose this what they mean. It has nothing to do with gay marriage — but everything to do about putting selfishness and individualism ahead of the collective good of the family name.

(We will pause here while you reread that part about saving the good name of la famiglia Cheney and then you roll your eyes so hard that you give yourself a migraine)

Matt’s point, and he thinks he has one, is the equivalent of saying “Shut up, you dick! People are listening!”.

Then Lewis kind of loses the thread where he seems to confuse the actions of not-lesbian Cheney with lesbian Cheney :

Putting personal political views ahead of blood relatives (I get that Mary is now married — and this constitutes her new family) seems like a relatively new phenomenon. This is partly because of social media (all Mary Cheney had to do was get angry and sign on to Facebook), but, my guess is this has something to do with our new individualistic world — and the fact that expectations of familial loyalty are diminished.

As I understand it, Mary and Liz Cheney are blood relatives no matter which non-man Mary marries. So, when Liz diminishes her sister’s choice of marital status and partner in pursuit of a job, she’s the one who is shooting “familial loyalty” in the face.  The fact of the matter is that Liz Cheney (daughter of Dick) is getting mau-maued by gay-hatin’ Sarah Huckabee Sanders (daughter of Mike) and Liz rose to the bait because she desperately wants to represent a state that likes their gays tied to a fence and left to die from exposure. And if Liz Cheney has to stand on the bodies of her sister, her partner, and their kids, they should just suck it up and take it.
Because, you know,  family loyalty and stuff….

Fun-loving UT students planning hilarious “Tag! You’re a beaner!” campus hijinks game

By TBogg
Monday, November 18, 2013 15:49 EDT

Thanksgiving is right around the corner which means that thousands of college students will be going home for the holidays where they will horrify their parents with how much weight they have gained after living on a dormroom diet of beer, Taco Bell, beer, stuffed-crust pizza, beer and beer. In effort to get the least amount of exercise possible, short of reaching for the remote, as well as using this precious time as a “teaching…


Dick Dynasty IV: The Awkwarding

By TBogg
Sunday, November 17, 2013 14:35 EDT

Daddy’s Little Deferment went on the teevee tube thing this morning and explained that she thinks that not-opposite marriage should be a states right thing. You know, like slavery was in the good old days: Wyoming Republican Senate candidate Liz Cheney on Sunday said that she disagreed with her own…


Dick Dynasty III: The Unlikening

By TBogg
Saturday, November 16, 2013 20:32 EDT

It’s time for the latest installment in our continuing series  (see here and here) about how undead Dick Cheney blowed up Iraq real good thereby fulfilling a promise made in return for an advance given against services to be rendered and then, damage done and blood money in hand, the…


Friday Music Thing

By TBogg

The local Arclight Cinema had a showing of this Wednesday night which we attended and, factoring in the fact that the Roses are one of my all time faves, it was still everything anyone could ask for in a musical documentary. As good as The Last Waltz but without the…


Jonah Goldberg is kind of a dick about other people’s misfortunes

By TBogg
Friday, November 15, 2013 12:54 EDT

Like you, leading conservative thinking person and re-interpreter of word meanings, Jonah Goldberg, enjoys a good belly laugh, a guffaw, a hoot and a holler, a shit and a giggle. And being the jolly sort that he is, he has a remarkable capacity for finding the funny in the most…


Wingnut PAC grifters tell FEC: “Suck it. You’re not the boss of me” even though they are

By TBogg
Wednesday, November 13, 2013 14:48 EDT

It is a fact of life that there is no sheep on God’s green earth more willing to be sheared than a god-fearing  flag-waving pocket-Constitution-owning being-kept-down-by-the-black-man middle-aged flyover-country white-American. It is said that, if God didn’t want these good people shorn of their disposable income that would  otherwise be spent…


The mirror has two faces and all of them are mine

By TBogg
Tuesday, November 12, 2013 15:10 EDT

We noted the other day that Yuppie Grand Kleagle Tucker Carlson recently hired slut-shaming racist Betsy Rothstein after FishbowlDC decided she was too expensive to keep what with her calling people whores and such and such. The fact that she took her leave from The Bowl within weeks of a…


What if Elizabeth Warren went back in time and smothered Baby Hitler in his crib

By TBogg

If you have been  perambulating about the internet these past few days, the above is exactly the kind of linkbait bullshit narratives that are being peddled by people who have wearied talking about President of New Jerseymerica Chris Christie or whether Rand Paul was the real life inspiration for the…


Cheap manhood sale held in Texas mall parking lot

By TBogg
Sunday, November 10, 2013 15:23 EDT

Oh look, here are some perfectly reasonable Texas gun owners, who were terribly disappointed at not being invited out for mimosa brunch, waving their junk around in a mall parking lot just like the founding fathers used to do on their  Saturday afternoons (before heading over to Hooters for tankards…