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This Tea Party 2nd American Revolution Dream Team will shock and delight you

By TBogg
Tuesday, July 1, 2014 13:42 EDT
 
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Recently our gal pal from Alaska’s meth capital, put America on notice that she is not in the least bit happy with our tribalistic slave-to-the-oligarchs duopoly where there is not a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties. Tossing her hair in disdain, albeit carefully lest she suffer the dreaded lady malady known as “Bumpit shift,’ Sarah Palin threatened to take the Tea Partiers home with her and party so hard with them that America would be forced to sit up and take notice, maybe call the cops because the music is too damn loud.

Because I love America, I heartily agreed with her because splitting the Republican  Party into two warring camps — one entirely made up of loons — would certainly do the country some good.

Well that dream of a party of strict constitutionalists who do not have time for niceties and “science” and “facts” and “math” (which is only a theory like “time”) may be closer than you think.

Recently the Tea partying Metropolitan Detroit Freedom Coalition (MEDEFCO) — who love the Founding Fathers so much that their website looks like it was designed in 1776 — invited New Zealand libertarian gadfly Trevor Loudon to speak to them — for a modest fee –  because they felt they needed some outside perspective on this whole “What’s wrong with America?” conundrum.

Loudon, or as I like to call him: Crocodile Dumbdee, is every bit as nutbar as Louie Gohmert, but people don’t seem to notice because he has an accent and Americans react to many foreign accents will childish glee and wonder … unless it is a Mexican one, in which case: ‘boo, go home.’

It should be noted that Loudon, along with being a libertarian, is also described as an adherent of ‘Zenith Applied Philosophy,’ which is described as a heady mixture of “Scientology, Eastern mysticism and the ideas of the American John Birch Society,” which sounds like astrology, white supremacy, and a belief that sexual nirvana is just two wetsuits, a dildo, and sturdy overhead beam away.

Speaking at Veterans of Foreign Wars Bruce Post 1146 in St. Clair, Michigan (which seems to be some kind of idiot/circumcision truther magnet), Loudon explained to an appreciative crowd that a 2nd American Revolution is needed and they can only do that with  a team equal to George Washington, Thomas Jefferson,  Benjamin Franklin , James Madison, and Samuel Adams [note: not the beer guy]. Fortunately for the Tea Partiers, such a group of brilliant brave patriots walk amongst us right now, and Loudon name checks them off with their appropriate cabinet positions and

It.

Is.

Delightful.

I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but let’s just say that no Dream Team is complete without that dreamy Ted Cruz at the top of the ticket, a brilliant military strategist and anger management drop-out for VP, a tousled-haired uncertified ophthalmologist at Treasury, and a certain be-bumpited word-scrambler as Energy Secretary, putting those naughty secretary glasses to work.

Briefly.

Before she quits.

Anyway, watch the whole hilarious video below:

[sideshow carnival game clowns with mouths open on Shutterstock]

Sparsely attended ‘men’s rights’ soirée arrives at source of their problems. Hint: It’s women

By TBogg
Sunday, June 29, 2014 14:49 EDT

If you’re a white man, a dude, a bro, a man’s man, a guy, a studmuffin, and you didn’t spend your weekend hanging out at a VFW post in the Detroit area, you are probably unaware that you are the most put-upon powerless useless flap of skin attached to a horribly-mutilated-by-a-mohel penis in the history of the world. Yup, the first International Conference on Men’s Issues rolled into Veterans of Foreign Wars Bruce Post 1146…

 

The Charlie’s Angels of Bullsh*t

By TBogg
Saturday, June 28, 2014 13:33 EDT

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Tammy Bruce who once speed-dated fame but, alas, it didn’t work out (fame didn’t call the next day, doesn’t return texts, eventually took out a restraining order) has set up shop at…

 

Sarah Palin is maybe going to take the Tea Party home and go rogue third party with it

By TBogg
Wednesday, June 25, 2014 14:38 EDT

Former Alaska Governor Kelly Girl temp and, apparently, recently converted Jew, Sarah Palin left her Facebook Fortress of Derp last night to toss some word salad for Sean Hannity about what was going on in last night’s election whosie-whatsis, while threatening to take the Tea Party to the Promised Land…

 

#Beeghazi!: The conservative war on Obama, science, common sense, and bees

By TBogg
Monday, June 23, 2014 9:03 EDT

On Friday the White House announced the formation of a task force charged with addressing the issue of rapidly diminishing colonies of honey bees and other pollinators. President Barack Obama ordered the Environmental Protection Agency and United States Department of Agriculture to lead an effort to determine why honey bees,…

 

Gentleman George Will is getting damned tired of having to explain rape to you guttersnipes

By TBogg
Friday, June 20, 2014 18:24 EDT

Victorian gas-pipe and Her Majesty’s Curator of Rape To The Colonies, George Will, has just about had it up to here with you people — YES, YOU PEOPLE. And especially you. Don’t think by closing your laptop he can’t see you, because he can. Oh yes, he most certainly can,…

 

Atlas Shrugged III: The Ayn Rand/Ron Paul rEVOLution stunt casting Hail Mary pass

By TBogg

I had almost forgotten that there are people who  are still working at churning out a low-budget trilogy based upon Ayn Rand’s  Atlas Shrugged; the ponderous doorstop penned to fire up the imaginations of generations of fourteen year-old future sociopaths and potential men’s rights activists. I will stop here and…

 

Why don’t you shut the hell up, Dick Cheney

By TBogg
Wednesday, June 18, 2014 13:41 EDT

It should probably come as no surprise that, on the heels of virtually every major media institution handing over precious airtime to the criminally stupid and incompetent folks who shoved the Iraq war down America’s throat after they were found to have been  asleep at the wheel prior to 9/11, …

 

Tom Friedman will never ever get tired of telling Iraqis to ‘suck on this’

By TBogg
Monday, June 16, 2014 16:39 EDT

Walking TED talk and taxi-driver-chatter-upper Tom Friedman is obviously not a big fan of Iraq. Possibly because it doesn’t seem like a place where Apple would extend their global empire; building factories full of low-wage worker bees churning out iToothbrushes or whatever the hell they are going to iMake next…

 

All things considered, Eric Cantor probably lost because he’s a dick

By TBogg
Wednesday, June 11, 2014 16:05 EDT

If you are like me, and you are in more ways that you would like to admit, sometime last night you opened your computer machine and exclaimed to you basset hounds/cats/significant other, “Holy shit, Eric Cantor lost!” Then you probably giggled uncontrollably for hours on end, pausing to read the…

 
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