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Fox’s Lauren Ashburn would like Raw Story’s Lauren Ashburn ‘sad face’ off of the Google

By TBogg
Monday, June 9, 2014 8:25 EDT
 
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Way back in the early days of television — 2013 to be exact — Howard Kurtz sashayed out of CNN’s studios for Fox News where “close enough  is good enough” passes as the mission statement for the Fox News fact-checkers.  On Fox’s Media Buzz, he is free to cast his critical eye on all media institutions, particularly those ones who don’t  provide him with a steady paycheck.

The move came in the shadow of his being shit-canned at The Daily Beast over his reporting on a Sports Illustrated article about NBA player Jason Collins coming out of the closet. In print, and elsewhere, Kurtz giggled and gawked that nowhere in the article was it mentioned that Collins had once been engaged to a (gasp!) woman, even though it was actually mentioned in paragraph eight of the story. Whoopsie-boop! Realizing that Kurtz’s close-reading journalistic skills went no further than reading the caption under a corgi picture (2Cute!!! luv!!) the Beast sent him packing  causing CNN to give him both the side-eye and the cold shoulder. Next thing you know,  Howie did the ole you ‘can’t fire me, I quit‘ and bailed on his own terms.

Resurfacing at Fox, Kurtz brought with him Lauren Ashburn with whom he maintained a relationship at The Daily Download; an unwatched internet operation thingamabob with all the stability and gravitas of a bank operating out of an RV in a Waffle House parking lot. Kurtz did a lot of tap-dancing about his connection to Ashburn, most of it being bullshit that was later discovered to be… extreme bullshit,  but he is nothing but loyal to friends who helped him grift a few dollars on the side.

Ashburn, who is kind of a D-list Mika to his Morning Howie, generally provides the type of anodyne commentary that can usually be heard from a hostess of Good Morning, Albuquerque!, and she seems to be on hand solely to laugh at Howie’s jokes and twinkle for the camera. And collect a paycheck. She’s not insultingly stupid enough to supplant Elizabeth Hasselbeck on Fox &  Friends,  and not young and feral and just-graduated-from-Stripper-Academy enough to snarl for the camera  on Fox’s afternoon shows.

She is Howie’s Gal Friday on Sunday.

Occasionally though, Ashburn says something that makes people sit up and take notice, and not in the “hey, Lauren Ashburn makes sense” kind of way.

Recently Ashburn offered up the opinion that Hillary Clinton manipulated her daughter Chelsea into getting pregnant just in time for the 2016 election because Hillary needs the help since she is a dried-up withered crone of a former human.

Here at the Raw Story we felt obliged to pass on that factoid because we’re all about  the chatter that is “out there,” no matter how doltish. It would seem that Ashburn took offense, particularly with our screencap of her.

This past Sunday morning, Howie and Lauren took up a recent ruling from the EU’s top court saying search engines must delete some personal information on request if a person’s rights are harmed and there is no compelling reason for the info to be on the internet.

Introducing the segment (seen below), Howie and Ashburn observed the cardinal rule of journalism and did not bury the lede, getting right to the meat of the matter: Ashburn’s displeasure with a certain website and a certain picture that she wishes would be memory-holed to internet oblivion and then killed with fire with its ashes scattered across the far reaches of the universe.

As both Kurtz and Ashburn acknowledge in the segment, the internet is a place of infinite nooks and crannies where things can be stashed, so this disappearing act is not likely to happen, much to the dismay of Ashburn, to say nothing of  George Tierney of Greenville , South Carolina.

But you have to admire her plucky resolve and that she and Howie took valuable time out of the segment to issue a passive-aggressive plea for us to decapitate the screencap.

As they say: possible, but doubtful.

Cue up  another sad face…

Watch the video from Fox News below:

Scott Brown lands sweet gig as spokesmodel for shampoo-unlimited data plan-gun company

By TBogg
Wednesday, June 4, 2014 9:44 EDT

Hunka-hunka burning love-guy Scott Brown, the former senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and centerfold for a ladies whack mag, has had a rough go of it ever since he was fired and replaced by [MRA trigger warning]  A WOMAN in 2012. The himbo with a happy trail has discovered the hard way that, while there is a lucrative after-party market for MILF/GILF’s of the Palin persuasion, there is a dearth of opportunities for dudes.…

 

That whole brevity thing for the tl;dr generation

By TBogg
Tuesday, June 3, 2014 21:26 EDT

This is more along the lines of a programming note. Often, very often in fact, I come across things on the interwebs that fill me with equal measures of both  childish delight and existential dread, but they lack enough heft to make them worthy of  eight hundred words, — give…

 

Never mind the bullets, here’s the ammosexuals

By TBogg
Sunday, June 1, 2014 13:39 EDT

American men are a simple people. They like their beer cold, their women hot, and their television shows stupid. America, for the most part, provides two out of three of those in abundance. But it’s hard out there for a man these days, particularly if he is saddled with the…

 

Former Air Force toilet-unplugger wraps self in flag, clutches guns, tells you to ‘Google’ history

By TBogg
Friday, May 30, 2014 10:32 EDT

Stung by criticism for his exceedingly brief encounter with empathy for the families who lost kids in the Santa Barbara Second Amendment Slaughterfest, Joe the Unlicensed Plumber has both bunkered and doubled down with his assertion that you can have his guns when you pry them from his clammy toilet-plunging…

 

Santa Barbara shooting was a anti-MRA gun grabbing false flag because, of course, why not?

By TBogg
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 14:41 EDT

This is the dawning of the Age of Santa Barbara Trutherism so we best get up to speed before all of the tinfoil sells out. As we all know, nothing in America happens by chance. Pearl Harbor, the Kennedy assassination, 9/11, Aurora, Sandy Hook, the Boston marathon bombing, the Steelers…

 

Joe the Plumber: The real victim of Santa Barbara shootings would be me losing my guns

By TBogg
Tuesday, May 27, 2014 11:26 EDT

2008 campaign novelty act and public intellectual, Joe “The Wurzelbacher” Plumber, has written an open letter to the parents of the victims of Elliott Rodger’s male privilege  2nd Amendment Memorial Day masculinity spree, saying that he is really sorry that their children are dead, but that they need to keep…

 

I was the NRA

By TBogg
Sunday, May 25, 2014 9:48 EDT

I was fortunate enough to have been born and to have spent my life living in a part of America where the climate is conducive to outdoor living year-round. The San Diego of my youth was the fabled “sleepy Navy town” of yore; scrub-filled canyons and mesas extending to the…

 

National Review Online now publishing Penthouse Forum MRA rape fantasy fiction

By TBogg
Thursday, May 22, 2014 13:25 EDT

–a tedious argument Of insidious intent. - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, TS Eliot When The National Review was launched back in 1955, founder William F. Buckley Jr. found life in the Eisenhower 50′s a bit too ‘get your freak on’ for his tastes and decided that someone…

 

Like word salad through a woodchipper, here is something Sarah Palin really actually wrote

By TBogg
Tuesday, May 20, 2014 8:48 EDT

Normally I don’t like to write about Sarah Palin in back to back posts but, like Operation American Spring that went from farce to absurdity to hilarity , sometimes you have to go where the derp takes you. I have said repeatedly that it is fairly apparent that everything that…

 
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