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Edward Snowden’s disembodied head makes sweet love to dreamy heartthrob Vladimir Putin

By TBogg
Thursday, April 17, 2014 14:20 EDT
 
Edward Snowden 'alternative' Christmas message 122513 [YouTube]

Vladimir Putin held his annual call-in show & Freedom Telethon today on the completely objective, totally independent, RT network (Page 6 Pravda ). While most starstruck conservatives were unable to get through to yell “Show us your boobs!”, Edward Snowden – the Max Headroom of the tech-bro set – managed to make a video request of DJ Vlad, and it wasn’t for Free Bird:

If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, Snowden soft-served a well-rehearsed ‘set it up on the tee and watch him whack it’ softball the size of Sean Hannity’s head to Putin:

“I’ve seen little public discussion of Russia’s own involvement in the policies of mass surveillance. So I’d like to ask you, does Russia intercept, store or analyze in any way the communications of millions of individuals? And do you believe that simply increasing the effectiveness of intelligence or law enforcement investigations can justify placing societies, rather than subjects, under surveillance?”

Unsurprisingly, Putin called ‘Bolshevik!’ on the notion that Sweet Mother Russia would indulge in such  intrusiveness, particularly at a time when they have their hands full annexing the Ukraine and signing up the Jews for summer camp in the Catskills Urals.

Actually Putin didn’t mention the Ukraine and the Jews because that have been awkward, but he did compliment Snowden as a fellow former spy only interested in freedom, and said that the only people using technology are “criminals and terrorists [who] use technology for their criminal acts” by which he means either the U.S. government or people who Instagram their breakfast tacos. Probably both.

But short answer from Putin was:  “Nyet, dude.”

So why would Edward Snowden participate in this ham-handed Jeff Gannon-esque Potemkin presser?

Snowden , who is one of those guys who thinks his mad computer skillz  automatically makes him the smartest guy in the room, really didn’t plan his Escape From Security State U.S.A. very well, and is still stuck inside of Moscow with those eviction blues again.  And, with an August deadline coming up, he either has to figure out how to renew his lease on the good life in his hipster neighborhood on the Volga or check-out craigslist for other countries who might be willing to give him free room and board  in return for exclusive information that a U.S. spy agency spies.

That has to have some value. Like a no-show job or something like that…

Josh Romney has 20 million reasons to write a bitter anger tweet at mean ole Harry Reid

By TBogg
Tuesday, April 15, 2014 22:08 EDT

It used to be that failed presidential candidates would shuffle off the national stage after their ignominious defeat and go lick their wounds in private. Eventually they would re-emerge  again in some other public service position, trading on the street cred gained by having been this close to being able to nuke another country into a Walmart parking lot because Bunheads got cancelled … or even something trivial Those were the days. The past two…

 

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the milk of cows

By TBogg
Sunday, April 13, 2014 15:06 EDT

It’s hard out there for a man’s man. The kind of guy who willing to strap on the shooting irons, leave the wife and little ones behind and go out and administer some old fashioned western justice just like John Wayne would have done. Steely-eyed men who use assault rifles…

 

Racist guy is super not-racist because he plays basketball with his boys, so it’s all cool now

By TBogg
Friday, April 11, 2014 20:03 EDT

On a scale of 1 to Super Maxi Hunka-Hunka Burning Cross Grand Kleagle of the KKK,  how racist do you have to be to maybe be unelectable in Mississippi? If you answered ‘Chris McDaniel’ you would be correct. [We would also have accepted 'Editor at Breitbart.com.'] Mississippi state senator McDaniel…

 

Kiss me, deadly: If Vance McAllister had hired a hooker, he’d be talking about Benghazi today

By TBogg
Thursday, April 10, 2014 4:58 EDT

December in Louisiana – sultry and damp as a Fox News blonde. I was working late, signing a stack of letters to district voters to go out in the morning mail. The usual song and dance. Looking for funding to repair potholes in front of their crackerbox homes, 90th birthday…

 

GOP checks into Hotel Breitbart California, finds it’s not at all like the brochures said

By TBogg
Tuesday, April 8, 2014 14:27 EDT

In the great state of California, Republican office holders are about as rare as high school diplomas in the Palin household. Even in an election year, the state GOP brain-trust is having a hell of a time rounding up anyone who can – at the very minimum – fog  a…

 

Men who love men who hate men who love men

By TBogg
Sunday, April 6, 2014 22:45 EDT

‘Oh no, there goes CEO, go go Mozilla’ – Blue Oyster Cult, sorta As a rule, white conservatives love love love victims. Providing, of course the victims aren’t blacks who are still fighting institutional racism. Or old people who didn’t plan for their future and now come begging, hat in…

 

An oppressive white privileged heteronormative look at Suey Park’s SQUIRREL! interview

By TBogg
Thursday, April 3, 2014 19:01 EDT

Yesterday morning I sat down at  ‘the place where the magic happens‘ (my desk) fully intending to write about the #CancelColbert nothing-burger that gripped America for a 72-hour news cycle before the country moved on to discussing more important things like waffle tacos at Taco Bell and Bruce Jenner plastic…

 

In wake of Ft. Hood shooting, conservative gun nuts immediately shoot off their mouths

By TBogg

It is a sad fact of life that, in this world that the NRA has made, nothing brings out the hot gun lovin’ like a tragic shooting that happens to someone else at a good safe distance. In the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting, while most American parents were…

 

Sarah Palin reads dumb Breitbart thing, accepts challenge, writes something dumber

By TBogg
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 12:20 EDT

I’ve often said that it is fairly obvious that Sarah Palin pays someone to write the things that show up on her ShoutyFace page because most of the time it doesn’t read like  the meth-fueled glossolalia of a not-particularly-bright 14-year-old. However it looks like  yesterday someone left a computer at…

 
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