1. Over centuries of being brutally raped, human women’s bodies have evolved to the point that they won’t allow pregnancy because they developed “ways to shut that whole thing down.”
2. Evolution is a still a myth, and creationism is sound science.
3. Oral contraceptives, which prevent ovulation, actually cause abortions and thus religiously-minded employers should — by law — be able to eliminate their female employees’ health insurance coverage for said contraceptives regardless of their intended use.
4. Medical science has advanced to the point that no woman dies in childbirth.
5. Any woman who speaks in public about women’s issues to politicians (see: Sandra Fluke, Katherine Fenton) is subject to a public review of her personal life and any or all of her personal sexual decisions in order to render her opinions invalid to the general populace.
6. The best way to gain respect throughout the world is to act belligerent and/or engage in military interventions rather than engage with other nation-states and their peoples with respect.
7. Racism is a thing that happens to white people when being denied college admission.
8. An assault weapons ban is a less effective tactic against gun violence than “to tell our kids that before they have babies, they ought to think about getting married to someone.”
9. We should build a base on the moon which would become the 51st state before Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico, Guam or American Samoa.
10. We can and should make life for undocumented workers in America so miserable through police harassment and the inability to work outside of the grey market that they simply self-deport, solving Washington’s inability to even consider, let alone pass, comprehensive and feasible immigration reforms.

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