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Chuck Norris offers Obama Syria advice ‘as a six-time world karate champion’

Conservative actor Chuck Norris is using his experience “as a six-time world karate champion” to advise President Barack Obama not to attack Syria because he says that the only threat the country poses “is to the commander-in-chief’s pride, ego and his willingness to humble himself for the sake of our…

Slovaks vote to name bridge after Chuck Norris

BRATISLAVA (Reuters) – Slovaks have been voting overwhelmingly in favor of naming a new pedestrian and cycling bridge near their capital for 1980s action film and TV star Chuck Norris. The two other top names in the running for the bridge, which will span the Morava river and cross the…

Chuck Norris: ‘What if Mother Mary Had Obamacare?’

Ah, yes — let’s take in this political thought piece by aging action film/TV actor, Total Gym shiller, and currently right-wing Human Events columnist Chuck Norris about health care and the Virgin Mary’s pre-natal care… Washington certainly has reached a new low by forcing American citizens who oppose abortion to…

Teabagging Gov. Rick Perry says it’s time for the Lone Star State to secede

I’m loving this batsh*t insanity way too much. So Governor Goodhair and Chuck Norris are ready to take their balls home to make a go of it as the great nation of Texas. Rick Perry joined the club as he spoke to reporters after the local teabagging affair in Austin.…

Chuck Norris on gay anger over Prop 8

This column is so ludicrous, given that the aging action star makes a living pretending to kick ass. More importantly, Chuck Norris is a hypocrite calling for mob rule at the ballot box. I’d love to see how he’d feel if the rights of his fellow “Christians” were subject to…

Chuck Norris dubs Palin ‘The Maverette’

After reading that Michael Reagan believes Sarah Palin is the reincarnation of his father, former president Ronald Reagan, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised at the asshattery that comes from the keyboard of faded action star-turned-WND-columnist Chuck Norris. He goes back a few more centuries — McCain’s running mate evokes…

She Comes Bearing Norris

Sarah Palin is apparently the McCain campaign’s months-late answer to Chuck Norris. By embracing Mike Huckabee’s ethos of not winning, I do believe that John McCain has found a formula that will propel him all the way to a distant second place, buffeted by numerous appearances on late-night comedy shows…

Chuck Norris is aware of all Constitutional traditions

Never mind the futility of explaining proportional representation (or, for that matter, the existence of the Senate) to Chuck Norris; this insanity gives me the chance to root for a an idea that I certainly didn’t invent but have been in favor of for quite some time now: Increasing the…

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