Home » Topics » colbert report (Page 2)

Colbert calls ‘Hollywood Hussein’ Obama out on second inauguration

Stephen Colbert didn’t waste any time in saying that Monday didn’t really mark President Barack Obama’s second inauguration, given that Obama had already been sworn in at the White House on Sunday. By taking his oath of office again in Monday’s public ceremony, Colbert said, “Obama has made himself a…

Colbert: Praise banks since ‘they have not destroyed the world economy in four years’

On the Colbert Report on Wednesday night, the host discussed the recent HSBC banking scandal but took aim not at banks, but at “the people who are angry at our banks.” “And I’m not the only one who feels this way,” he said, going on to show clips of business…

Colbert: ‘If you just spend enough money, death will be pleasant’

Stephen Colbert addressed a grave matter on Tuesday, turning his attention to a new coffin on the market that lets audiophiles take their favorite tunes with them to the next life. “The point is, if you just spend enough money, death will be pleasant,” he said after showing a commercial…

Colbert: It’s never too early to declare Obama’s second term a failure

Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took stock of President Barack Obama’s failed second term, which, he said, should begin in about two weeks. “And it’s a disaster,” he said. “But the point is, I gave it a chance.” High profile members of Obama’s first term team…

Colbert: ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ investigation is long overdue

Without the movies, Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday, he never would’ve learned that slavery is bad or that Abraham Lincoln was killed by a vampire. So he welcomed the news that there was a Senate investigation coming on the depiction of torture in Kathryn Bigelow’s film Zero Dark Thirty. “We…

Colbert: ‘Hobbit’ cameo rumors ‘an exciting and unverified escalation of my career’

Sitting near a transHobbitfied new set Monday, Stephen Colbert traced the stories related to his rumored involvement in the upcoming Hobbit movie adaptation. His visit to the film’s set earlier this year, the Colbert Report host said, played out like a media game of telephone, as the press went from…

Colbert: It was a compliment when I called Windsor, Canada earth’s rectum

On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert presented an episode of his “Who’s Attacking Me Now?” segment that was dedicated to the Canadian Broadcast Company (CBC). It seems, said Colbert, that the “Maple-stream media” has gotten its nose out of joint over something the host said…

Colbert: Are women voters just ‘mindless hormone zombies’?

Thursday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert discussed the much-maligned (and since removed) post at CNN.com about whether or not women’s decisions in the voting booth are affected by their hormones. “Folks, we’re a mere 12 days away from the election,” Colbert said, “and it is my solemn…

Colbert offers a million to charity if Trump will teabag him by Halloween

On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert took on the purported “bombshell” announcement by businessman and reality TV host Donald Trump that was supposed to up-end the presidential race yesterday, which of course turned out to be a big announcement of nothing. The hype started on…

Colbert on ‘Mystery Monkey’ attack: ‘Who knows who started it?’

Stephen Colbert revisited the case of Florida’s “Mystery Monkey” Monday, following reports that it bit an elderly woman last week. “I don’t believe you can call it an attack,” a local wildlife rescuer told WTSP-TV. “The monkey got on her shoulder, both sides freaked out.” Colbert was skeptical of that…